In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Karen Gurney, a consultant clinical psychologist and certified psychosexologist, to dive into a conversation about sexual wellbeing and how it changes throughout the course of life—especially after having children.
Dr. Gurney is a leading expert in sexual health, currently serving as Head of Wellbeing Services at the renowned 56 Dean Street clinic and Director of The Havelock Clinic in London. She is also an author, TED speaker, and regular contributor to major publications like Vogue and Marie Claire. Dr. Gurney’s latest book, How Not to Let Having Kids Ruin Your Sex Life, has opened up conversations about the realities of sex in long-term relationships and marriage, and how to maintain intimacy while navigating the challenges of parenthood.
In this insightful discussion, Dr. Gurney shares her expert advice on how couples can foster healthy sexual relationships after having children, the psychological shifts that often occur in the postpartum phase, and the impact of societal expectations on intimacy. She also offers practical tools to reframe how we think about sex in marriage and long-term partnerships, helping couples reconnect and thrive sexually despite life’s many demands.
Main Topics Covered:
Tune in for a candid, expert-driven conversation that sheds light on the realities of sex after kids, offering practical solutions for couples who want to keep their relationships intimate, vibrant, and fulfilling.
Lots of love,
Dave & Steve
SPONSORS & DISCOUNT CODES:
Namawell Juicers are AMAZING! They have absolutely revolutionised the juicing game. We have an exclusive 10% discount for you!
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR10
LINK: https://namawell.com/collections/juicers/products/nama-j2-cold-press-juicer?ref=thehappypear
VIVOBAREFOOT: Vivobarefoot Footwear have given our listeners an exclusive 20% discount and if you buy now you also get free access to their incredible course showcasing some of the biggest names in the health and wellness space.
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR20
LINK: https://www.vivobarefoot.com/uk/the-happy-pear
THE WHOLE HEALTH TRIBE – Join our community
LINK: https://eu1.hubs.ly/H0bmqxd0
THE HAPPY PEAR RECIPE CLUB – Blending health and happiness through a range of over 500 delicious plant-based recipes.
LINK: https://eu1.hubs.ly/H0bmqss0
Sign up to our Newsletter, for updates on our latest recipes, events, and news.
LINK: https://share-eu1.hsforms.com/1hKXaawjoQOONmJe4EXkCdwf92py
Produced by Sean Cahill & Sara Fawsitt
In this episode we are joined by the brilliant Patrick Holford, a leading voice in the world of nutrition and alternative health. With over 36 books translated into 29 languages and decades of experience, Patrick is a British author, entrepreneur, and advocate for nutritional therapy. His work has helped shape modern views on the power of food and supplements to transform health, with regular appearances on UK and international television and radio.
In this engaging conversation, Patrick shares his wisdom on how to take control of your health through diet, lifestyle, and nutritional supplements. The episode dives deep into Patrick’s holistic approach to wellbeing, offering practical advice on how to implement small changes that make a big impact. From boosting brain power to supporting your immune system, Patrick’s insights are invaluable for anyone looking to improve their overall health.
Main Topics Covered:
Whether you’re new to alternative nutrition or a seasoned wellness enthusiast, this episode offers valuable takeaways that can help you live a healthier, more balanced life.
Lots of love,
Dave & Steve
SPONSORS & DISCOUNT CODES:
Namawell Juicers are AMAZING! They have absolutely revolutionised the juicing game. We have an exclusive 10%
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR10
LINK: https://namawell.com/collections/juicers/products/nama-j2-cold-press-juicer?ref=thehappypear
VIVOBAREFOOT: Vivobarefoot Footwear have given our listeners an exclusive 20% discount and if you buy now you also get free access to their incredible course showcasing some of the biggest names in the health and wellness space.
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR20
LINK: https://www.vivobarefoot.com/uk/the-happy-pear
THE WHOLE HEALTH TRIBE – Join our community
LINK: https://eu1.hubs.ly/H0bmqxd0
THE HAPPY PEAR RECIPE CLUB – Blending health and happiness through a range of over 500 delicious plant-based recipes.
LINK: https://eu1.hubs.ly/H0bmqss0
Sign up to our Newsletter, for updates on our latest recipes, events, and news.
LINK: https://share-eu1.hsforms.com/1hKXaawjoQOONmJe4EXkCdwf92py
Produced by Sean Cahill & Sara Fawsitt
Back in 2004, we opened a little veg shop in our home town of Greystones with a dream of starting a plant-powered revolution! For 20 years, The Happy Pear has been all about spreading health, happiness, and seriously delicious food. With over 15 million products sold, 6 bestselling cookbooks, and 15+ online courses under our belts, we’ve learnt so much on our journey!
Now, we’re hitting the road with our new book, The Happy Pear 20: Recipes and Learnings From the First 20 Years. Get ready for a fun-filled tour packed with stories from our wild journey, tips for better living, and cooking demos (at select spots!). Come join us as we dish out wisdom, laughs, and plenty of plant-based goodness!
7th November 2024 The Lark Balbriggan IRL Click here to buy tickets
6th December 2024 The Pavilion Dun Laoghaire IRL Click here to buy tickets
22nd January 2025 Dareshack Studio Vintry Building Bristol UK Click here to buy tickets
24th January 2025 London Irish Centre Camden Square UK – Click here to buy tickets
25th January 2025 Irish World Heritage Centre Manchester UK Click here to buy tickets
26th January 2025 Oran Mor Glasgow UK Click here to buy tickets
29th January 2025 Cork Opera House IRL Click here to buy tickets
6th February 2025 National Opera House Wexford Click here to buy tickets
9th February 2025 Town Hall Theatre Galway Click here to buy tickets
26th February 2025 Waterfront Studio Belfast Click here to buy tickets
In this enlightening episode, we are thrilled to welcome Gaia Ferreira, an internationally renowned speaker, life coach, and author, celebrated for her profound work in personal development, wellness, and mindfulness. With over two decades of experience, Gaia has guided countless individuals on their journey towards a more fulfilled and balanced life. Her approach integrates a deep understanding of human behaviour with practical strategies that empower people to unlock their full potential.
Gaia’s expertise spans a wide range of topics, from mastering mindfulness to cultivating resilience, and her teachings have inspired a global audience to embrace a more conscious and intentional way of living. In this conversation, Gaia shares her invaluable insights and practical advice, making this episode a must-listen for anyone seeking personal growth and a deeper connection with themselves.
Main Topics Covered:
Join us for an inspiring and transformative conversation that will leave you equipped with the tools and insights to elevate your life. Whether you’re at the beginning of your personal development journey or looking to deepen your practice, this episode with Gaia Ferreira offers wisdom and guidance for all stages of the path.
Lots of love,
Dave & Steve
SPONSORS & DISCOUNT CODES:
Namawell Juicers are AMAZING! They have absolutely revolutionised the juicing game. We have an exclusive 10%
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR10
LINK: https://namawell.com/collections/juicers/products/nama-j2-cold-press-juicer?ref=thehappypear
VIVOBAREFOOT: Vivobarefoot Footwear have given our listeners an exclusive 20% discount and if you buy now you also get free access to their incredible course showcasing some of the biggest names in the health and wellness space.
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR20
LINK: https://www.vivobarefoot.com/uk/the-happy-pear
THE WHOLE HEALTH TRIBE – Join our community
LINK: https://eu1.hubs.ly/H0bmqxd0
THE HAPPY PEAR RECIPE CLUB – Blending health and happiness through a range of over 500 delicious plant-based recipes.
LINK: https://eu1.hubs.ly/H0bmqss0
Sign up to our Newsletter, for updates on our latest recipes, events, and news.
LINK: https://share-eu1.hsforms.com/1hKXaawjoQOONmJe4EXkCdwf92py
Produced by Sean Cahill & Sara Fawsitt
Last week I wrote about the idea of becoming more embodied, of moving more from our heads back into our multisensory bodies. This week I wanted to get really practical and give you some ideas of some ways to become more embodied.
5,4,3,2,1 sensory game
A lovely exercise I often do when walking down the street is the 5-4-3-2-1 sensory awareness game. This simple but powerful practice helps shift my attention away from the constant chatter of the mind and back into the rich, multisensory experience of the present moment.
It works like this: First, I take a moment to slowly look around and notice 5 things that I can see. Then I focus on 4 things that I can hear, these might be a car passing by, a bird singing in the distance, a cat meowing, someone speaking across the street. Next is to become aware of 3 things that I can feel via touch, the clothes I am wearing, the feel of my feet in my shoes, are there any subtle pains in my body.
Moving on I tune into 2 things I can smell, it can be a passerby’s perfume, the scent of a flower, a lovely dinner smell wafting out of a neighbours house. Our sense of smell is deeply connected to the limbic system, the emotional control centre of the brain, so engaging it can evoke a sense of grounding and calm. Finally, I try to identify 1 distinct taste in my mouth, even if it’s just the subtle flavour of my own saliva, this is often the hardest!
This simple 5-4-3-2-1 practice is a lovely way to interrupt the constant flow of our thoughts and tune into the immediacy of our physical experience. By systematically engaging each of our senses, we can cultivate a greater sense of presence, connection, and embodied awareness in our daily lives.
Breath
I remember Steve & I went interrailing across Europe one summer when we were in College. We were sitting in a train carriage travelling across the Czech Republic and quite a mystical guy entered our carriage. He had a vibe going on, he was really present and there was something very alluring about him. I remember he was Swiss and he told us about a 10 day silent meditation retreat he had been on called Vipassana that had transformed his life for the better..
At the time, Steve and I were the quintessential searchers, searching for more meaning so naturally we both felt drawn toward this! A year later we were volunteering in one of these Vipassana meditation centres in Massachusetts for a number of months and we had both sat one of these 10 day silent meditation retreats. The crux of the practice from my understanding was that the breath is the most immediate access point that we have to becoming present and aware of the vast world of sensations that you feel on your body at any moment. While you are reading this, right now, become more aware of your breath, are you breathing shallow or deep? Are your breaths long or short? As you tune into your breath, very often you can become aware of the subtle flow of energy around your body.
I believe the breath provides the easiest way to get ‘out of your head’ and ‘back in your body’. I wrote a previous happier Column on Breath and the opportunity tuning into our breath more can have. This primal life force flowing through us becomes a gateway, reminding us that we are not just disembodied minds, but fully embodied, sensing creatures. Meditation and mindfulness are two practices that typically use the breath as a touchstone to becoming very aware of all the sensations that are happening in your body here and now. That is why meditation, mindfulness and any form of breathwork can be incredible tools at reconnecting you and bringing you back into your body.
Dance
My daughters have regularly referred to my dance skills as deeply embarrassing! Both Steve and me in our heads are fantastic dancers but in reality we are usually perceived as wild lunatics! Our brother Mark is a DJ, back when we were in our 20’s Mark used to DJ in nightclubs in Dublin and we used to love to go support him. We would take our veg van and head in for the night, sleep in the van after and then go straight to Dublin fruit market at 5am! I remember so distinctly, Steve and I were such enthusiastic dancers that we would get a tap on the shoulder consistently and a young guy would say to us ‘mate, do you have any pills’?!! We didn’t drink or take any pills, we just loved the feeling of letting loose on the dance floor and literally losing ourselves to the music.
Dancing is one of the most ancient and universal forms of human expression, with a rich history that stretches back thousands of years across cultures. From ritual dances performed to honour the divine, to joyful celebrations marking rites of passage, to communal festivities that bring people together – dance has long been inextricably woven into the fabric of the human experience. Psychologically, the act of moving our bodies in sync with music has been shown to stimulate the release of endorphins, foster a sense of connection, and induce altered states of consciousness – all of which can contribute to a profound experience of embodied freedom and transcendence.
As a 44-year-old man who grew up primarily focused on sports, dancing did not come as naturally to me. However, after giving up alcohol at age 21, I found myself turning to dance as a way to stay energised and engaged at parties, rather than simply sitting on the sidelines. Over the years, I’ve come to deeply appreciate dance as one of the greatest joys that exist. When you lose yourself to the rhythm and flow of the music, the sense of freedom and unity that arises is truly second to none. Whereas many adults only dance a few times a year, such as at weddings after copious amounts of alcohol, I believe dance is an essential human experience that can help us fully engage our bodies and spirits, lifting us up in a deeply embodied way.
Growing some of your food
Last week I started sprouting again. I am growing some of the most nutritious food possible in a large jar on my kitchen counter! A friend, Doug Evans, who wrote the book ‘how to grow sprouts’ visited us last week to be a guest on our podcast. He inspired me to get back sprouting. There is something deeply connecting about growing our own food, we appreciate it more, do not waste it, and get to pour our love and energy into it over a period of time. I believe growing food gives us a wonderful opportunity to become more embodied.
These activities all have the power to reconnect us with the incredible sensory experience of being fully present in our physical bodies.There are literally millions of things you can do to become more embodied from walking, running, cycling, yoga, going to the gym etc that all bring you back in more awareness of the incredible multi sensory body that you inhabit.
When we live more embodied, we cultivate a deeper sense of presence, aliveness, and connection. We become less caught up in the incessant chatter of the mind and more attuned to the rich tapestry of sights, sounds, textures, and sensations that are always available to us. This embodied awareness can help reduce stress, enhance our appreciation for the world around us, and infuse our lives with a greater sense of wonder and vitality.
My main point here is that when you are ‘living more in your body’ you are more likely to be present, aware in the here and now and less likely to be caught up with anxieties etc. What do you think? What do you do to become more embodied? Are there specific things you do to bring you back in your body?
As always, thanks again for taking the time to read this. If you enjoyed it you can find my other Happier Articles here.
Have a lovely week, Dave x
As I sit on the padded floor of my 11-month-old daughter Fia’s room, I marvel at her embodied state of being. She is fully engaged with her primitive, mammal mode of exploring movement and discovering what her body can do. Fundamentally embodied, Fia is sensing, feeling, and interacting with her environment through the innate wisdom of her physical form. She is fully engaged and present in her body, marveling and curious.
This column is building on last weeks’ ‘Happier’ Column titled The Comfort Trap where I laid out the idea that our excess of modern comforts could likely be contributing to less fulfilment, joy and happiness. With the massive rise of humans sitting for a prolonged amount of time, and most work nowadays being office based, I sometimes think that – as a society – we are starting to see our bodies as simply a vehicle to transport our brains around. Today’s column is about the idea of becoming more physically embodied as a way to feel a little happier. In essence, to move more from our heads to our hearts and bodies, to become more ‘embodied’ and maybe a little bit more whole.
Dis-embodied?
The other day, I was walking down the street and counted 10 people who I walked past who had their head buried in their phone nearly walking into me or a lamp post! I have definitely been guilty of doing that too, so I am definitely not judging. It just made me even more aware of how modern life with all its alluring screens and fancy technologies is drawing us away from our physical form and the wonder of the world around us.
I can’t help but believe that reclaiming this sense of physical embodiment could be a key to greater happiness and fulfilment. I believe that when we are fully present in our senses, attuned to the rhythms and needs of the body, we are more likely to experience the richness of the here and now. All great sages say the same thing: that life happens here and now, and I believe that fully inhabiting our body and engaging with our senses is key to this.
A few years ago, Steve and I went to an event in London. It was in an industrial estate in North London in a private show kitchen and it blew us away. It was a sensorial dinner. The first course we were given nose pegs and invited to put them on. The chef explained that our sense of smell (olfactory glands) is directly linked to our taste. This is why wine tasters slurp their wine, to get more air passing across the surface of the wine so they can ‘taste’ the wine via their nose!
But back to the story: the first course we put on these nose pegs and were given a black jelly and asked to guess what we could taste. Neither of us could taste a thing. When we removed the nose peg and tasted again, our taste receptors were flooded with an explosive taste of red berries, the black colour was simply to mislead us. The evening progressed with another course where we had to wear headphones with certain music that influenced the taste and we had to rub our hand on a rough surface while eating our dessert to show how touching a rough surface makes us experience more of a crunch like taste
The sensorial dinner experience really emphasised the power of fully engaging our senses to be present in our bodies and delight in the richness of the moment. It made us acutely aware that modern life, for all its wonders, often pulls us away from this embodied state of awareness, keeping us trapped in the distracted, busy hum of daily routines. By reconnecting to the wisdom of our physical form, we can cultivate a greater sense of aliveness, presence, and connection – key ingredients for a happier human experience.
Is the body just a means to transport our brain around?
At the moment, a part of me is slightly worried that much of modern life relegates the body to a mere vehicle for the brain. Yet the body and brain are inextricably linked, connected by the same nervous system. By becoming more embodied, life has the potential to become richer in the true sense of the word – not just materially, but in our ability to connect more deeply, feel more intensely, and harmonise with ourselves, one another, and the natural world. Moving beyond seeing the body as secondary to the mind opens up profound possibilities for self-awareness, belonging, and joy.
Wrapping it up
I invite you to reflect on your own relationship to your body. What practices or experiences help you to feel more grounded, alive, and present in your physical form? Whether it’s mindful breathing, dancing, hiking in nature, or simply making a concerted effort to unplug from screens, I believe that by doing so we are nurturing an essential aspect of the human experience.
For in doing so, we just may unlock the keys to a richer, more joyful existence. I’m curious to hear your thoughts – what helps you to feel more embodied?
Next week I plan to write about my favourite ways to become more embodied! Thank you so much as always for reading, I greatly appreciate it.
Have a lovely weekend.
Dave x
This week we are joined by the incredible Kirsty Gallagher, a renowned astrologer and author of the Sunday Times bestseller, The Goddess Path. With over 20 years of experience in astrology, meditation, and spirituality, Kirsty has empowered countless individuals to reconnect with their inner selves and navigate life’s challenges with grace and wisdom. Her unique approach combines ancient wisdom with modern insights, making her a beloved guide in the world of self-discovery and personal growth.
Main Topics Covered:
Join us for a captivating conversation with Kirsty Gallagher that will leave you feeling inspired and equipped with new tools to enhance your spiritual journey. Whether you’re a seasoned astrology enthusiast or a curious beginner, this episode is packed with wisdom and practical guidance that you won’t want to miss.
Lots of love,
Dave & Steve
SPONSORS & DISCOUNT CODES:
Namawell Juicers are AMAZING! They have absolutely revolutionised the juicing game. We have an exclusive 10%
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR10
LINK: https://namawell.com/collections/juicers/products/nama-j2-cold-press-juicer?ref=thehappypear
VIVOBAREFOOT: Vivobarefoot Footwear have given our listeners an exclusive 20% discount and if you buy now you also get free access to their incredible course showcasing some of the biggest names in the health and wellness space.
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR20
LINK: https://www.vivobarefoot.com/uk/the-happy-pear
THE WHOLE HEALTH TRIBE – Join the community
LINK: https://eu1.hubs.ly/H0bmqxd0
THE HAPPY PEAR RECIPE CLUB – Blending health and happiness through a range of over 500 delicious plant-based recipes.
LINK: https://eu1.hubs.ly/H0bmqss0
Sign up to our Newsletter, for updates on our latest recipes, events, and news.
LINK: https://share-eu1.hsforms.com/1hKXaawjoQOONmJe4EXkCdwf92py
Produced by Sean Cahill & Sara Fawsitt
Earlier this year we were in Boston for work and were lucky enough to be taken to see a Boston Celtic’s Basketball game. It was so spectacular yet completely overwhelming! Coming from Greystones, a small town in Ireland right by the sea, this massive indoor circus like stadium was a jarring contrast. The constant noise, bright lights, massive screens and relentless stimulation of the packed crowd and non-stop parade of action on the court felt almost alien to my ancient, evolutionary self. I felt very much like a country mouse in the big city!
Don’t get me wrong, it was an incredible experience to witness. But it also felt like the apex of modern culture – a captivating, high-energy spectacle that made me think of ancient Roman gladiators in the Colosseum. The stark juxtaposition between my nature-immersed life in Ireland and this urban sports cathedral left me feeling slightly out of place, as if my primal instincts were at odds with the frenetic pace and overstimulation of this modern entertainment circus extravaganza!
As I sit here on a comfortable couch with a comfortable blanket draped around me to keep me warm while sipping on a delicious drink of warm cacao, I can’t help but feel a nagging feeling of unease. My ancient primal self feels trapped in the comforts of modern life – heating, soft fabrics, lighting, excess of processed foods. A deep seated primal part of me, yearns to be more embodied, to be more connected to the natural landscape, outside in the natural world with all my senses fully engaged.
I am fascinated by the contradictions of modern life. On one hand, the technological advancements and innovation across every sector would have been impossible to even contemplate 100 years ago. However on the other hand we live in an environment of unprecedented ease and comfort which goes against our evolutionary hardwiring. As I dig deeper into this topic, I can’t help but feel that our cushy, sedentary lifestyle packed with time saving devices, isolated living and constant convenience is profoundly at odds with the lives of our ancestors and the evolutionary programming hardwired into our genes.
Humans have supposedly been around for about 300,000 years. 99%+ of this time life was uncomfortable and tough. Our ancestors spent their days roaming the natural environment in search of food, exerting themselves physically all day long and relying on their senses to survive. In Spite of the fact that life was hard, there were some silver linings, they lived in tight tribes, ate natural food from the environment and lived harmoniously with the natural habitat in a very physical embodied way.
My daily sunrise swim in the cold Irish Sea is a way that I lean into this ‘comfort trap’. Even though I have done this daily for nearly a decade, 98% of the time I don’t feel like getting into that cold sea. It’s uncomfortable but I do so as I know that on the other side of this discomfort is a place of joy and gratitude, a much better version of myself. As a dear friend Mark says ‘I don’t always love the person getting in, but I always love the person getting out’.
Over the last three years Stephen and myself and some friends have embarked on an annual physical challenge that requires training and a journey of sorts to get ourselves physically fit to try to achieve our challenge. Three years ago we ran the Causeway Coastal Path up in Northern Ireland which was 52 km, this was the first time we had run that distance. Last year we took up swimming, having never swam a km before. We trained all summer long and swam 7 km from the nearby town of Bray to Greystones.
This year we are training to run the Wicklow Way, a former pilgrim path across the Wicklow mountains where we live from Dublin to Carlow. We plan to do it over two days in September, all 127 km of it, so just over 60km per day. These adventures are a way for us to reconnect and lean into discomfort. They are very much about the journey, much of the training I don’t feel like doing but the camaraderie and social accountability make me stick with the course. These physical challenges are a way that help push us out of our comfort zone and remind us of the importance of the journey and training with friends, learning more about the land that we live in and hopefully completing a fun physical challenge.
We are all products of the natural world, not evolved for the sterile, sedentary confines of modern life and concrete jungles. Perhaps it’s time we start to reclaim our birthright as embodied, earth-connected beings, and find a way to balance the comforts of the present with the wisdom of the past.
What are your thoughts on this? Do you see a way to reconcile our primal selves with the realities of 21st century living?
The key to thriving in the 21st century may lie in understanding your primal self. Tune in next week to explore this powerful idea further.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. I find this topic really interesting and am thinking of writing more on it. If you agree, please let me know in the comments below! Thanks a mill.
Dave x
I remember so many times in Spring of 2020, during covid lockdowns, standing barefoot on the stony shoreline of the cove in Greystones, waves lapping at my feet, as I watched the sun rise above the horizon against a pink sky. The air was thick with the scent of salt and damp earth, and I could feel the potential in the day rising and the pulse of the tides resonating within my own body. In that moment, the boundaries between myself and the natural world seemed to dissolve, leaving me in a state of deep connection and awe.
We are Nature
At our core, you and I are not separate from nature – we are nature. The truth is, the natural world is not something “out there” that we observe and admire. It is something that flows through us, courses through our veins, and makes up the very fabric of our being.
Consider that one of the most complex ecosystems on the planet resides within your own gut – it hosts billions of microbes, a diverse community that is in constant dialogue with the rest of your body. This inner wilderness is just as much a part of the natural world as the forests, oceans, and skies outside your doors. The cycles and rhythms that sustain all life on this planet also animate the life within us, ebbing and flowing in perfect harmony and synchronicity.
Yet in our modern culture, I find that we’ve grown increasingly disconnected from this fundamental truth. We might have fallen into the trap of seeing ourselves as separate from nature, as somehow superior to or independent from the natural order. This has fueled a mindset of scarcity, where we grasp and hoard rather than allowing the regenerative abundance of the natural world to nourish us.
By reconnecting to the nature that ‘lives inside each of us’, we can begin to dissolve this artificial separation. We can attune ourselves to the cyclical patterns of growth and rest, expansion and contraction, that animate all living things. In doing so, we may find that our own lives become a seamless extension of the natural world – no longer at odds with it, but deeply connected as an integral, harmonious part of the great web of life.
This is the invitation before us: to remember that we are nature, and that the abundance and balance we seek is not something foreign, but a profound truth written into the very fabric of our being. When we live in alignment with this reality, we unlock a wellspring of vitality, creativity, and connection that can nourish us and the earth we call home.
Retuning to Nature’s Rhythms: What We Can Learn from the Cycles of the Natural World
In our fast-paced, technology-driven, concrete based modern life, it’s easy to lose touch with the natural rhythms that have guided life on this planet for millennia. Yet, by reconnecting with these cycles, we may unlock greater balance and harmony.
In nature, we witness the universal dance of day and night, the waxing and waning of the moon, the changing of the seasons. It is easy to forget these natural cycles yet they offer the opportunity to become profound teachers, if we choose to attune ourselves to their wisdom.
Consider the cycle of the seasons. In spring, the earth awakens with new growth and vitality. Summer brings a flourishing abundance, followed by autumn’s shedding and winter’s necessary rest and regeneration. This annual cycle mirrors the ebbs and flows we experience within ourselves.
As an identical twin who has always been driven and goal-oriented, learning to embrace the natural cycles of rest and renewal has been an ongoing practice for me. There have been countless times when I have pushed myself relentlessly, ignoring my body’s signals for a needed break. It has only been as I’ve gotten older and become more aware that maybe my deep seated need for productivity is likely rooted in an insecurity that I better understand the importance of allowing myself to ebb and flow like the tides. Just like night proceeds day, I need to prioritise rest, reflection in order to renew after demanding periods of focus and productivity.
By endeavouring to live more harmoniously with the cycles of nature, you will likely find that your stress levels decline, your creativity flourishes, and your sense of connection to the natural world, and to yourself, deepens. By returning to nature’s rhythms, we can rediscover the inherent balance and connection that has sustained life on this planet for Eons.
Abundance vs Scarcity
When I look to the natural world, I am met with an abundance that stands in stark contrast to the scarcity mindset so prevalent in modern human culture. The cycles of nature exemplify a generative, replenishing flow, rather than the linear, finite capitalist systems we have all grown accustomed to.
As I observe the seasons change each year, I’m struck by nature’s effortless cycles of renewal, of expansion and contraction. In spring, I witness the world springing forth with vibrant new life, blossoming into the lush abundance of summer. Even as autumn brings a shedding of leaves, the trees do not cling desperately to their resources. Instead, they gracefully let go, trusting in the replenishing rest of winter to revitalise them for the next cycle of growth. This pattern of expansion and contraction, of giving and receiving, sustains the natural world in a state of perpetual regeneration that I find profoundly inspiring.
In comparison, in our human society and culture we often operate from a mindset of scarcity, hoarding resources and guarding against perceived lack. Most of us have been conditioned to see the world as a zero-sum game, where one person’s gain must come at the expense of another. This mindset fuels competition, anxiety, much stress and the persistent illusion that there is never enough. Yet the abundance of nature reminds me that this is a construction of our own making, a man made creation, the universe from what I can see operates based on principles of complete abundance generously sharing resources without a sign of withholding.
I am inspired by the rhythms and generosity of the natural world. I believe there is much to learn about shedding the deep rooted scarcity mindset of modern culture. Leaning more open heartedly into giving and receiving and learning to not cling on to our money and materials so tightly. This likely sounds very idealistic but I believe we can learn to trust in the replenishing cycles that sustain all life, and find freedom in the knowledge that abundance is our natural birthright, not scarcity. In doing so, we open ourselves up to a more harmonious, fulfilling way of living with a much deeper connection to the earth and the natural world and creatures upon it. .
The natural world has touched me in so many ways, it connects me to myself in so many profound ways on a daily basis whether via my morning sunrise sea swims, running through the woods or working on our regenerative farm and learning more about how we can grow tasty nutritious food in the most harmonious way with nature.
Thanks for reading this weeks ‘Happier’ column. I really appreciate it. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below and as always thanks to those who have left comments on previous articles, I really appreciate your input.
Lots of love,
Dave x
In this week’s episode we sit down once again with Nicole Masters, an independent agroecologist, systems thinker, author, and educator. Nicole is renowned for her extensive work in soil health and regenerative agriculture, empowering farmers and communities worldwide to adopt sustainable practices that benefit both the environment and their livelihoods. With over two decades of experience, Nicole is a sought-after consultant and the author of the acclaimed book, For the Love of Soil: Strategies to Regenerate Our Food Production Systems.
We were delighted to have Nicole join us in person for this second episode, where we had the opportunity to take her around our own no-dig regenerative farm. This unique setting allowed us to delve deeper into the practical aspects of regenerative farming and the principles of soil health that Nicole advocates.
Main Topics Covered:
Nicole Masters’ expertise and passion for soil and sustainability shine through in this episode, making it a must-listen for anyone interested in the future of food production and environmental stewardship. Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of how we can all contribute to a healthier planet through thoughtful and regenerative approaches to agriculture.
Lots of love,
Dave & Steve
SPONSORS & DISCOUNT CODES:
Namawell Juicers are AMAZING! They have absolutely revolutionised the juicing game. We have an exclusive 10%
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR10
LINK: https://namawell.com/collections/juicers/products/nama-j2-cold-press-juicer?ref=thehappypear
VIVOBAREFOOT: Vivobarefoot Footwear have given our listeners an exclusive 20% discount and if you buy now you also get free access to their incredible course showcasing some of the biggest names in the health and wellness space.
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR20
LINK: https://www.vivobarefoot.com/uk/the-happy-pear
THE HAPPY PEAR RECIPE CLUB – Blending health and happiness through a range of over 500 delicious plant-based recipes.
LINK: https://eu1.hubs.ly/H06JvgK0
Sign up to our Newsletter, for updates on our latest recipes, events, and news.
LINK: https://share-eu1.hsforms.com/1hKXaawjoQOONmJe4EXkCdwf92py
Produced by Sean Cahill & Sara Fawsitt
Pre-order now to be in with the chance of winning one of the following prizes!
After pre-ordering, simply email your confirmation or receipt to books@thehappypear.ie to be entered into our competition draw.
We’re so excited to announce that our new book “The Happy Pear 20: Recipes and Learnings From the First 20 Years” will be coming out this October!
This book really does mean so much to us. Celebrating some of the most popular recipes we’ve created in the last 2 decades!
We talk about the big life lessons we’ve learned on our journey from our successes and failures, and all of the amazing people we met along the way.
With recipes from the most requested dishes in our cafe, our most viral recipes on social media, as well as what we love to cook up at home, we can’t wait to share our favourite dishes with you!
Click on your favourite seller above to order from their site.
We recorded a podcast last week with a Best Selling author and astrologer Kirsty Gallagher, and her words have been resonating with me ever since. She said a line that I found profoundly impactful: “Your purpose is you.” This simple yet powerful statement has been circling in my mind, serving as a great reminder whenever I catch myself falling into old patterns of feeling the urge to be productive or busy.
The concept of “purpose” can often feel lofty, nebulous and elusive, the source of many an existential crisis. Typically we look outward to find purpose through concrete achievements & goals, helping others, or fulfilling societal expectations, such as teaching children or tending to the needs of our community. But what if the key to unlocking our deepest sense of purpose lies not in the world beyond us, but within the very core of our authentic selves?
I’ve come to believe that our purpose is indeed rooted in becoming more fully who we are – embracing our true values, interests, and passions as the foundation for finding meaning and direction in our lives. It’s not about forcing ourselves into someone else’s or society’s mould, but about the courageous journey of unravelling the hidden layers within.
The more you become authentically yourself the more you give others permission to do the same.
In our modern world of monoculture food and often homogenous values, where globalisation and Western consumerism are spreading across the globe – finding and expressing your true self is an act of rebellion and profound empowerment. What I love most about the idea of “your purpose being you” is that at its root lies the courageous journey toward your authentic self, your truest essence independent of external expectations.
You are fundamentally unique, you are 1 in 9 billion. Even me, as an identical mirror twin with 99.99% the same DNA as my twin Steve, I am completely unique too, as is Steve. The more we are brave enough to step into our individual light and shed the pervasive constricting values of Western capitalism, the more we in turn inspire others to follow suit. Just as a cold or flu is contagious, authenticity too has a viral quality – it inspires and spreads. We all want to feel free to be ourselves and sometimes seeing others being unapologetically themselves gives us permission in a sense. As Gandhi so eloquently stated, “be the change you wish to see in the world.” The more we embrace our authentic selves, the more we give others permission to do the same.
In a world that constantly pressures us to conform, to fit neatly into prescribed boxes, the act of self-discovery and self-expression becomes a quiet rebellion. When we have the courage to show up as our unvarnished selves, we create a ripple effect that can transform not only our own lives, but the lives of those around us. This is the true power of purpose – not found in external accomplishments, but in the beautiful, messy, ever-evolving journey of becoming who we were born to be.
It starts with acceptance and love
This week, I caught myself acting from that habitual, automatic urge and habit to be productive – an impulse that is so often rooted in fear. In that moment, the line “your purpose is you” spontaneously popped into my head, serving as a potent reminder. Instead of mindlessly forging ahead, I noticed a shift; self-compassion, self-acceptance, and even self-love began to arise within me. It felt like I was momentarily breaking free from entrenched patterns, no longer losing myself in the frenetic need to stay busy for busy’s sake, to be a productive cog in the machine. Productivity and busy-ness is a habit I’ve sometimes excelled at, equating my worth with the outward markers of productivity and achievement.
But in that pivotal moment, I was able to pause, reconnect with my deeper self, and make a different choice. It was a small yet profound act of rebellion against the relentless pressure to conform to society’s narrow definitions of success. By choosing presence over productivity, I re-aligned with my deeper sense of who I am and what is important to me in the moment. This experience has reinforced my belief that our truest calling lies not in external accomplishments, but in the courageous journey of becoming more fully ourselves.
At the heart of living a purposeful life is the ability to fully accept and love yourself (last week’s column on ‘the wisdom of insecurity’ touched on this!). It is so easy to get caught up in the relentless pursuit of external validation, comparing ourselves to unrealistic standards and judging our worth based on others’ perceptions (previous Happier Column on Self worth). However, your unique purpose can only be found when you make peace with who you are at your core, flaws and all. Self-acceptance is not about complacency or becoming passive, but about creating a solid foundation from which you can grow and flourish. When you cultivate genuine self-love, you tap into your deepest desires, values, and unique gifts – the very building blocks of a fulfilling purpose.
Redefining success on your own terms
As identical twins and business owners, Steve and I are all too familiar with society’s often narrow definition of success, wealth, status and external achievements being touted as the hallmark of a life well lived. However, what if you took a step back and redefined success based on your deeper values and what really gives you meaning?
What if you peel back the layers of societies ‘success programming’ and instead start to determine what really floats your boat, what makes your spirit soar and awakens a child-like wonder in you? Your purpose being you means that it needs to be a genuine expression of who you are. In my thirties I very much bought into the success equals social status paradigm and reflecting back I was the personification of success equals external achievements and impressing others. Now that I am a decade older, 44, I have largely shed this belief and find true success is quality time with my family and friends and spending time on the farm in nature. I still see the old habitual programming of seeking external validation arise but I find I am less susceptible to it than before! Progress over perfection!
The most meaningful purpose is found not in external achievements, but in the courageous act of becoming more fully yourself. May you have the courage to shed societal expectations and tap into the wellspring of purpose that lies within. Your unique gifts and authentic expression are a profound gift to the world. The more you do this, the more you inspire others to do the same. Together lets create a ripple of authenticity!
Thank you for taking the time to read this week’s Happier column. I hope the idea of “your purpose is you” has resonated and inspired you to embrace a more authentic and purposeful path. I have written many previous Happier columns exploring topics like self-worth, feeling enough, and living with greater intention which you can read here.
All the best
Dave
In the realm of nutrition, where vitamins and minerals often steal the spotlight, there’s one humble nutrient that quietly works wonders from the wings: fiber. By utilizing plant-based fiber for gut health, we can significantly enhance our digestive wellness and overall health. Think of fiber as the quiet kid in class who, unbeknownst to many, is actually a superhero in disguise, keeping your digestive system and overall health in tip-top shape.
Embarking on a plant-based diet unveils an exciting world where fiber isn’t just a guest; it’s the star of the show. This narrative isn’t about depriving yourself of flavors or joy. Oh, no! It’s about embracing a rainbow of foods that bring not only color and texture to your plate but also a myriad of health benefits, thanks to our fibrous friends.
Fiber’s superpowers are many, from helping you feel fuller for longer to making sure your digestive system runs like a well-oiled machine. And the best part? Plant-based diets are like a treasure map to this nutrient goldmine, with each meal offering a new opportunity to discover the joys and benefits of fiber.
As we set sail on this adventure, imagine your kitchen transforming into a laboratory, where each fiber-rich plant food is a fun experiment waiting to unfold. Together, we’ll explore the fascinating ways fiber works its magic, introduce you to the most fiber-rich foods the plant kingdom has to offer, and share secrets on how to keep your gut microbiome thriving, day in and day out.
So, buckle up! We’re about to take a ride through the colorful, flavorful, and utterly joyful world of fiber on a plant-based diet. Trust us, it’s a journey worth taking, filled with discoveries, health perks, and, most importantly, delicious food!
Fiber is an essential part of a healthy diet, especially when it comes to plant-based eating. It’s unique because it comes in two varieties: soluble and insoluble, each with its own set of benefits for our bodies.
Soluble fiber dissolves in water to form a gel-like substance, aiding in digestion and helping to keep blood sugar levels steady. It’s like the friend who’s always there to smooth things over, ensuring everything in your digestive system is running as it should. Foods rich in soluble fiber include oats, peas, beans, apples, and citrus fruits. By including these in your diet, you’re not just eating well; you’re actively contributing to your heart’s health and keeping hunger pangs at bay.
Insoluble fiber doesn’t dissolve in water. Instead, it adds bulk to the stool and helps food pass more quickly through the stomach and intestines. It’s the dietary equivalent of keeping the traffic moving on the highway of your digestive tract, preventing any jams that can lead to discomfort or constipation. Whole wheat flour, wheat bran, nuts, and vegetables like cauliflower and potatoes are great sources of insoluble fiber. Adding these to your meals ensures that your digestive system stays on track.
Having both soluble and insoluble fiber in your diet is key to maintaining good digestive health. They work together to help manage blood sugar levels, reduce the risk of heart disease, and prevent constipation. A plant-based diet naturally offers a wide variety of both types of fiber, making it easier to enjoy their benefits in every meal.
Understanding the roles of soluble and insoluble fiber can help you make informed choices about what to include in your diet. As we move on to explore the fiber-rich stars of the plant-based diet, remember that diversity in your food choices is not just enjoyable—it’s essential for your health.
Diving into a plant-based diet opens up a treasure trove of foods high in both soluble and insoluble fiber. Here’s a closer look at some of these nutritional superstars and how to weave them into your daily meals for a delicious, fiber-rich diet.
Legumes are not only protein powerhouses but also fiber champions. Whether it’s black beans, chickpeas, lentils, or peas, these versatile ingredients can be the heart of any meal. Think beyond the humble chili or stew. How about a smooth, creamy hummus as a snack or black bean brownies for dessert? The options are as endless as they are delicious.
Move over, refined grains! Whole grains like oats, barley, and quinoa bring texture, flavor, and a hefty fiber punch to the table. Start your day with a bowl of oatmeal topped with fruit and nuts, or stir up a quinoa salad loaded with veggies for lunch. These grains make it easy to keep things interesting and fibrous.
Vegetables are the backbone of any plant-based diet, and for good reason. Not only do they offer a variety of vitamins and minerals, but they’re also rich in fiber. Roast a mix of broccoli and Brussels sprouts for a crispy side dish, or bake a sweet potato for a filling meal. The more colorful your plate, the better!
Fruits are nature’s dessert, sweet and packed with soluble fiber. Berries can top off your morning cereal, apples can be baked into a healthy snack, and pears can add sweetness to a savory salad. Each fruit not only satisfies your sweet tooth but also supports your digestive health.
Incorporating a diverse array of plant-based foods into your diet isn’t just about meeting fiber needs—it’s about enjoying a wide range of flavors and textures. Experimenting with different fruits, vegetables, legumes, and grains can keep your meals exciting and your body well-nourished.
Fiber’s role in maintaining gut health is both fascinating and vital. While it doesn’t get digested in the traditional sense, fiber has a profound impact on our digestive system, especially within a plant-based diet. Here’s how this nutrient helps keep our gut happy and healthy.
Fiber acts as a prebiotic, providing food for the beneficial bacteria in our gut. These friendly microbes ferment soluble fiber, producing short-chain fatty acids (SCFAs) that nourish the colon walls and help regulate the immune system. It’s like throwing a feast for your gut’s good bacteria, encouraging them to multiply and maintain a healthy gut flora balance. This, in turn, can reduce inflammation and even lower the risk of chronic diseases.
Insoluble fiber’s claim to fame is its ability to add bulk to stools and facilitate regular bowel movements. Think of it as the body’s natural way of keeping the digestive tract clear, preventing constipation, and reducing the risk of colon cancer. A diet rich in fiber from whole foods ensures that everything in the digestive system moves along smoothly, without any hiccups.
Beyond digestion, a fiber-rich diet, particularly from plant sources, has been linked to lower risks of developing conditions like heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and certain types of cancer. Fiber’s ability to regulate blood sugar levels and cholesterol is a testament to its role beyond just gut health, showcasing its comprehensive benefits for overall well-being.
Fiber has a fantastic ability to make you feel full and satisfied after meals, helping to curb overeating and assist in weight management. This is particularly beneficial in a plant-based diet, where high-fiber foods can provide volume and nutrients without an excess of calories.
Embracing a diet rich in plant-based fiber not only supports your digestive system but also contributes to a healthier, more vibrant you. As we look at incorporating more fiber into our diets next, remember that it’s not just about quantity; variety and enjoyment are just as important.
Increasing the fiber in your diet doesn’t have to be a chore. In fact, it can be a delicious and adventurous journey. Here are some tips and tricks to help you seamlessly add more fiber to your meals, making each bite not only nutritious but also delightful.
Breakfast is the perfect time to get a head start on your fiber intake. Swap out your regular cereal for a bowl of oatmeal topped with berries and chia seeds, or blend up a green smoothie with spinach, pear, and avocado. These choices pack a punch of both soluble and insoluble fiber, keeping you full and energized until lunch.
For snacks, reach for raw veggies with hummus, a piece of fruit, or a handful of nuts. These not only satisfy hunger pangs but also provide a fiber boost. Preparing these snacks ahead of time makes it easier to make fiber-rich choices when you’re in a hurry or on the go.
Choose whole grains over refined ones whenever possible. Whole grain bread, brown rice, and quinoa are not only tastier but also richer in fiber. These swaps can easily be made in any meal, enhancing both its flavor profile and nutritional value.
Legumes are incredibly versatile and a powerhouse of nutrition, especially fiber. Try adding beans to salads, using lentils in place of ground meat, or experimenting with chickpea-based recipes like falafel. Each addition introduces a new texture and flavor, making your meals more interesting and fibrous.
Yes, desserts can be fiber-rich too! Bake with whole grain flours, incorporate fruits like apples or pears, or use nuts for crunch. These ingredients can transform any dessert into a guilt-free treat that still satisfies your sweet tooth while contributing to your daily fiber goal.
Incorporating more fiber into your diet is about making small, manageable changes that add up over time. With a bit of creativity and exploration, you can enjoy a diverse, flavorful, and fiber-rich diet that supports your gut health and overall well-being.
Transitioning to a new dietary lifestyle is often more manageable with the support of a community or network of individuals with similar interests. Online forums, local meetups, and plant-based cooking classes are excellent resources for encouragement, sharing experiences, and gathering valuable tips for those new to plant-based eating with a focus on gut health. The Gut Health Revolution Course has a wonderful community centered around the whole food, plant-based lifestyle, aiming to significantly improve your gut health!
As we wrap up our fiber-filled exploration, it’s clear that fiber is not just a dietary necessity but a cornerstone of a vibrant, plant-based lifestyle. The journey through the types of fiber, their sources, and their myriad benefits for gut health highlights an undeniable truth: embracing fiber-rich foods can transform our health in profound ways.
Fiber, in its humble essence, does more than just aid digestion. It’s a catalyst for a healthier, more energetic life. Its roles, from nurturing a balanced gut microbiome to preventing chronic diseases and aiding in weight management, illustrate fiber’s multifaceted impact on our well-being. The journey through the plant-based kingdom, with its legions of legumes, whole grains, vegetables, and fruits, showcases the abundance and variety available to those who choose to embrace this lifestyle. Each meal is an opportunity to nourish not only the body but also the soul, with vibrant colors, textures, and flavors.
Incorporating more fiber into our diet is an adventure—a chance to experiment with new foods, recipes, and eating habits. It’s about making intentional choices that align with our health goals and ethical values. The practical tips provided, from starting the day with a fiber-rich breakfast to indulging in fiber-packed desserts, offer a roadmap for this journey. They demonstrate that increasing our fiber intake is not only achievable but also enjoyable.
Moreover, this exploration underscores the importance of diversity in our diet. Just as a tapestry is more robust and beautiful for the variety of threads woven into it, so too is our health enhanced by a diverse intake of fibrous foods. Each type of fiber, each plant-based food, brings its unique benefits, contributing to a holistic picture of health that extends beyond the gut to encompass our entire being.
As we conclude, let’s remember that the path to a healthier, more fulfilling life is paved with fiber-rich, plant-based foods. It’s a path that invites creativity, demands mindfulness, and rewards with vitality. Whether you’re a seasoned plant-based eater or just beginning to explore this lifestyle, the world of fiber offers endless possibilities for enrichment and joy.
Embracing fiber is more than a dietary choice; it’s a commitment to nurturing our bodies, protecting our health, and celebrating the bounty of the plant-based world. Let this journey through fiber’s wonders inspire you to make choices that not only satisfy your palate but also support your health and the health of the planet. Here’s to a life lived with vitality, color, and, of course, plenty of fiber!
If you are seeking a guided approach to improving gut health through plant-based eating, our “Gut Health Revolution” course, led by Gastroenterologist Dr. Alan Desmond, offers an in-depth exploration of the subject. This comprehensive 4 week course to revolutionise your gut covers everything from the science behind gut health to practical cooking demonstrations, making it an invaluable resource for anyone looking to transform their health through diet.
In addition to the course, you will get access to over 600 delicious, plant-based recipes, 100s of yoga lessons, meditations and workouts as well as access to our thriving community of like-minded people in various stages of their plant-based eating journey.
In this episode, we’re thrilled to have Dan Kittredge, the founder and executive director of the Bionutrient Institute. Dan is a lifelong organic farmer and an expert in nutrient density. Through his work, he aims to improve the quality of food by focusing on soil health and farming practices that enhance nutrient content. His passion for sustainable agriculture and deep understanding of the link between soil health and human health makes this a truly inspiring episode.
Main Topics Covered:
Tune in to gain valuable insights into the world of nutrient density, sustainable farming, and the future of our food systems. Whether you’re a farmer, a consumer, or simply someone interested in the quality of the food you eat, this episode is packed with actionable information and inspiring ideas.
Lots of love,
Dave & Steve
SPONSORS & DISCOUNT CODES:
Namawell Juicers are AMAZING! They have absolutely revolutionised the juicing game. We have an exclusive 10%
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR10
LINK: https://namawell.com/collections/juicers/products/nama-j2-cold-press-juicer?ref=thehappypear
VIVOBAREFOOT: Vivobarefoot Footwear have given our listeners an exclusive 20% discount and if you buy now you also get free access to their incredible course showcasing some of the biggest names in the health and wellness space.
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR20
LINK: https://www.vivobarefoot.com/uk/the-happy-pear
THE HAPPY PEAR RECIPE CLUB – Blending health and happiness through a range of over 500 delicious plant-based recipes.
LINK: https://eu1.hubs.ly/H06JvgK0
Sign up to our Newsletter, for updates on our latest recipes, events, and news.
LINK: https://share-eu1.hsforms.com/1hKXaawjoQOONmJe4EXkCdwf92py
Produced by Sean Cahill & Sara Fawsitt
Insecurities in my romantic relationship
When I first started dating my wife Sabrina I used to get jealous when she would go out to parties or events without me. When she was away travelling for work or pleasure without me I would get jealous when she would talk about other guys she had met. I didn’t acknowledge this to her at the start but over time I couldn’t suppress it anymore and I was forced to look at it with her supportive help. Possibly on some level I may not have felt worthy or good enough that she would stay with me. We have now been together for 8 years and married for nearly 3 years. I remember that I sometimes felt embarrassed by my jealousy but I couldn’t help it. I don’t remember feeling jealous over the last few years, I know it has and possibly will provide a great opportunity for growth for me.
I used to see insecurities – like my jealousy – as really negative, uncomfortable parts of myself that I just wanted to hide from everyone. I certainly didn’t want to acknowledge or share these insecurities, I preferred to sweep them under the metaphorical mat. I preferred to project the childish illusion that I was different and didn’t have any insecurities, that I had my ‘sh*t’ together.
Recently while soaking in the bath, (my chosen place of solitude to reflect and pontificate) I was ruminating over the idea that insecurities and the pieces that we find most uncomfortable about ourselves can likely be our greatest teachers, our greatest opportunities for growth and increasing awareness.
Failure being a better teacher than success
To share another example, I recently watched a clip of Ed Sheeran discussing his success. He emphasised that his achievements were due to hard work, not just raw talent. The interviewer suggested he was being humble, but Ed insisted otherwise. He pointed to a song he had published on YouTube at 14, four years before his breakthrough. His singing was rough, just as he described. Ed explained that failure had shaped him. He failed repeatedly until he could sing melodies and harmonies proficiently. “Success teaches you nothing,” he said. “Failure is the best teacher of all.” It’s humbling and often tough to swallow, but it builds real character.
This perspective on failure aligns with my own experiences. My insecurities, once seen as weaknesses, have provided opportunities for growth and self-awareness. Embracing failure and insecurity, rather than hiding from them, allows us to learn and grow. Just as Ed Sheeran didn’t shy away from his early, imperfect music, we can embrace our insecurities as part of our journey toward self-understanding and personal growth.
The wisdom of insecurity.
Most of us unconsciously try to control our environment to varying degrees – with the goal to feel more secure. For example, we may look for security in our day to day jobs, for permanent contracts with good benefits like health insurance. We may marry to help provide some form of security that our spouse will not leave us as long as we are married. We may have pensions to help give us some financial security for the future. We are living trying to mitigate some future worries in the hope that we feel more secure and in control now.
The illusion of security?
While all this feels relatable to some degree, I wonder if this way of thinking is an illusion? We are not even in control of our own bodies, most processes happen automatically, breathing for example, it happens whether we are aware of it or not, the same goes for digestion, healing, pumping blood etc.
On a larger scale, each of us is just one among nearly 9 billion people living on a dynamic, ever-changing planet. We are part of complex webs of natural ecological systems, constantly in flux, alongside intricate human-made political and governing structures. This vast, unpredictable environment shows how the idea of security is an illusion and highlights the need to embrace life’s uncertainties.
I remember my granny, May, who died at 92, had most of her money in AIB bank stocks. Her husband, my grandfather, worked there, so they invested their savings in these seemingly safe, blue-chip stocks. However, the 2008 financial crash wiped out their value entirely. This experience highlights the illusion of security. Even the safest investments can become unstable, showing that true security is elusive and reinforcing the need to embrace life’s inherent uncertainties.
As is often said, change is the only real constant. I remember doing a 10-day silent meditation retreat in Boston over 22 years ago. We got up at 4:30 AM and meditated for about 14 hours a day in complete silence, with no reading, writing, or eye contact. One key message reinforced every day was that change is the only constant. This experience made me realise how true this is and highlighted the illusion of security. By accepting and embracing change, we can better handle life’s uncertainties and grow from our insecurities.
Embracing the insecurity of life
Uncertainty is deeply challenging, particularly with the rate of change that new tech is forcing upon us. However, the very nature of life is uncertainty. Parts of me wish it wasn’t as then it might be more predictable and controllable.
I think cultivating a deeper capacity to let go and not resist change is key to not ‘breaking’. I have a good few friends who have gone through tough burnouts. They were high achievers who worked really hard and also had high tendencies toward control. Yet ultimately their burnouts were a really tough messenger to help them to let go, to redefine their relationship with work and control by setting better boundaries and learning to let go of this idea of perfection. Trying to control something that is uncontrollable simply creates anxiety. Learning to let go and be more present with what is unfolding could possibly be a better strategy for feeling happier.
Vulnerability – the ultimate connector
Insecurities make us more human and relatable yet most of us – like me – try to hide these feelings from others. I get it, I do the very same, as feeling vulnerable is uncomfortable. You usually feel exposed, sensitive and a bit raw and your ego and pride are suppressed.
In my twenties I used to be so proud of any of my accomplishments and was only too happy to share them with anyone who was interested. I suppose I had an inflated sense of ego and then with the rise of social media this only added petrol to the fire. Maybe it is getting older or maybe it is spending much less time on social media and the endless game of likes and popularity but I feel much less concerned with impressing people. I like to think maybe I am just becoming more comfortable with my insecurities.
Most of us project an image of self-confidence and having our lives together. However, on the inside, we often feel insecure and vulnerable, sometimes even dealing with imposter syndrome daily. I believe we connect much more through these tender, insecure feelings than through our achievements and strengths. Everyone can relate to insecurities, challenges, and vulnerabilities. Embracing these aspects of ourselves can lead to deeper, more meaningful connections, embodying the wisdom of insecurity.
I think a key piece to feeling happier is becoming more ‘friendly’ with our insecurities and vulnerabilities. Insecurities are really tough and everyone deals with them, our internal struggles are likely much more relatable than any accomplishments we may have had.
What do you think? What insecurities drive you? I would love to know your thoughts. Thank you for taking the time to read this. If you want to add to the conversation leave a comment below and if you want to read some of my other happier columns I have written 13 now, you can find my previous Happier columns here
All the best
Dave x
This week we speak to the wonderful, charming, friend that is Dan Sheehan. Dan is the visionary founder of Namawell, a company that has revolutionised the juicing industry with its innovative products. Dan’s journey from a health-conscious entrepreneur to the creator of cutting-edge juicers is inspiring and packed with valuable insights for anyone interested in health, wellness, and entrepreneurship.
Dan Sheehan is a trailblazer in the world of juicing, dedicated to making healthy living accessible and enjoyable. With Namawell, he has introduced juicers that not only extract the maximum nutrition from fruits and vegetables but also make the juicing process more efficient and user-friendly. His passion for wellness and innovation has positioned Namawell as a leading name in the industry.
In this episode, we explore Dan’s entrepreneurial journey, the challenges he faced, and the vision that drives Namawell. We delve into the technical advancements of their juicers and discuss broader topics around health and wellness. Join us for an inspiring conversation filled with practical tips and insights.
Main Topics Covered:
Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of the juicing revolution and get inspired by Dan Sheehan’s story. Whether you’re a juicing enthusiast, a budding entrepreneur, or someone interested in health and wellness, this episode offers something for everyone.
Lots of love,
Dave & Steve
SPONSORS & DISCOUNT CODES:
Namawell Juicers are AMAZING! They have absolutely revolutionised the juicing game. We have an exclusive 10%
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR10
LINK: https://namawell.com/collections/juicers/products/nama-j2-cold-press-juicer?ref=thehappypear
VIVOBAREFOOT: Vivobarefoot Footwear have given our listeners an exclusive 20% discount and if you buy now you also get free access to their incredible course showcasing some of the biggest names in the health and wellness space.
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR20
LINK: https://www.vivobarefoot.com/uk/the-happy-pear
THE HAPPY PEAR RECIPE CLUB – Blending health and happiness through a range of over 500 delicious plant-based recipes.
LINK: https://eu1.hubs.ly/H06JvgK0
Sign up to our Newsletter, for updates on our latest recipes, events, and news.
LINK: https://share-eu1.hsforms.com/1hKXaawjoQOONmJe4EXkCdwf92py
Produced by Sean Cahill & Sara Fawsitt
Sitting soaking in the bath I watched a short video by Alan Watts about not forcing anything. It made me reflect on the question: How can I live with more ease and less striving and forcing?
As I reflect, I wonder about how you and I are a product of our current culture of quicker, faster, now! In comparison, I marvel at the effortlessness of nature. Lao Tzu, the late Chinese philosopher said “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” I wonder how I can live more in harmony with this natural flow, with the rhythm of nature. And ultimately, how I can live with more ease, more flow and alignment?
Does effort equate to success?
In today’s world, success is often equated with effort. The harder you work, the more you achieve, right? ‘No pain, no gain’. I wonder do we have this wrong? I have been as susceptible to this as anyone. As an identical twin, I certainly embodied this effort equates to success idea. When Steve and I were younger and more competitive we were always striving to outdo one another, and as a result were often ‘busy fools’, busy striving for unimportant things!I wonder if the key to achieving more is actually to do less and use the extra time to ensure that what you are doing aligns with what is truly important to you? Your actions will likely be better directed, helping you to avoid the pitfall of tirelessly chasing unworthy goals.
I reflect on some key moments in my life, some of the most pivotal life events just seemed to have happened without any striving or struggle, they simply unfolded with ease.
For example, my wife Sabrina and I were lucky enough to buy our current home in 2021, while we weren’t even looking for a house, a friend sent me a message with a link to it and before I knew it, we were going to see it. In fact, it was the first house we ever went to see. There was of course some back and forth with mortgages etc. but it all unfolded with an ease to it that felt a little like there might have been an invisible hand helping to guide the process. I don’t know if it was meant to be or that the timing was just right, either way it just unfolded seamlessly.
My Little Guru
My third daughter, Fia, is now 9 months old and started trying to walk. Watching her take her first steps with the help of her walker is truly amazing. She isn’t in any rush or hurry; she’s not striving to walk or even particularly concerned about it. I don’t even know if she is conscious that she is trying to walk. It just seems to be happening naturally, in its own rhythm, and in its own time, very much like nature just exists and trees just grow.
It was the same easy natural unfolding as we watched her learn to roll over and then crawl. Observing Fia reminds me that when we are aligned and present with what is unfolding, circumstances tend to flow and unfold in a more effortless manner. In my perspective, babies are the purest form of human with little to no conditioning, they are closest to the source, this is my I look to baby Fia as my guru!
Is the journey the destination?
Early last year, I noticed a persistent low-level anxiety following me around, especially regarding work. We weren’t hitting our targets, and it felt overwhelming. To overcome this, I decided to let go of focusing on goals and outcomes and instead chose to concentrate on the journey, the process and the things I can control. I remember at the time we had lots of goals on digital course sales and membership sign ups which we weren’t hitting. I instead focused on my process of sharing really good content that might inspire people to sign up rather than stressing over what I couldn’t control. This simple shift helped me manage stress and anxiety much more effectively.
Acceptance vs resistance.
I’ve noticed that struggle, striving, and hustling often come from resisting reality—trying to force things to go the way we want. Acceptance, on the other hand, isn’t about giving up or letting life bowl us over. It’s about recognising and aligning with what’s actually happening.
When I accept things as they are, I feel more in harmony with life. For example, yesterday I was frustrated that my 13-year-old daughter Elsie was taking so long to get ready in the morning. We had planned to go to a cafe, and she took more than 20 minutes to get dressed, so my impatience was growing. Realising my frustration wasn’t helping either of us feel better, I told her I’d walk ahead and meet her there.
This small shift made such a big difference. Instead of stewing in annoyance, I enjoyed a leisurely walk and was in a much better mood when she arrived. I wrote about acceptance in terms of having enough in a previous Happier column titled: ‘Feeling enough’.
Acceptance embodies the principle that, in this present moment, your most basic needs are likely met. Needs and wants are quite different. A key to experiencing less effort and more ease is to be happy with what you have by accepting your current situation.
Aligning with Nature’s pace
I ran along the cliffs this morning as the sun was rising and I marvelled at how nature unfolds with ease and balance. Just as seasons change smoothly and rivers flow naturally, nature shows us a harmonious way of living. Trees grow and shed leaves effortlessly, animals follow natural rhythms, and ecosystems thrive through connections.
An essential aspect of this harmony is recognizing that humans are not separate from nature but an integral part of it. As Alan Watts beautifully put it, “We do not ‘come into’ this world; we come out of it, as leaves from a tree.” By understanding and embracing this interconnectedness, we can live more harmoniously and simply.
Nature has seasons, there is winter and summer, night and day. Yet modern human culture tends to be ‘always on’, usually striving forward on a mission to accomplish something. Instead, if we can mimic some of these natural processes, such as rest and growth we can bring more harmony into our lives.
Where we live in Greystones, we do our best to foster and nurture a strong sense of community just like the roots of a tree interconnecting with the mycelium and roots of the forest to support and nourish together. Nature’s wisdom shows us that aligning with it can lead to greater ease and harmony in our daily existence.
Simplifying Your Life: Knowing When Enough is Enough
Simplifying your life is about recognizing when enough is truly enough. In a world where the goalposts are constantly shifting and material pursuits never seem to end, I find it crucial to pause and reflect on what truly matters. By focusing on essentials and letting go of unnecessary clutter—both physically and mentally—we can find greater peace and contentment.
Coming back to the example of housing, we moved from a normal sized family home to a small town house 5 years ago before buying our home a year after that. It had 2 small bedrooms and no storage space. As we moved, we were forced to let go of everything that wasn’t essential to fit it all into those 2 bedrooms. I remember that it was tough at the time, yet somehow liberating to let go and to gift some of the things we thought were important to friends and the community.
To me, simplifying means valuing experiences over possessions, nurturing relationships over accumulating more stuff, and finding joy in simple, everyday moments like I wrote about in a previous Happier Column on taking a daily 1 hour holiday. Learning to live a simpler life can help us to stop chasing after endless goals, and instead appreciate the abundance that is already present in our lives.
To be really honest, I don’t have all the answers about living a more effortless life. I am on the same journey as you are. And I wish you more ease, more flow and alignment moving forward. I hope that struggle is a less common guest at your table and when you must carry a burden, I hope you can embrace a little more acceptance. Life is so rich and the more ease and presence we can cultivate, the more joy we are likely to experience.
Thank you for reading my writings, I get so much joy from it and I really hope they help you in some way. If you have anything to share on this topic please leave a comment below.
Thanks a mill.
All the best
Dave x
As I sit on a plane travelling home after a busy couple of days in London I reflect on the subtle opportunity within failure. Failure is an interesting thing, perceived as a destination of sorts yet I see it more like feedback and information on a journey toward anything worthwhile. It is a core part of the human experience. Failure has taught me more than success. At times, it is a cruel teacher. One that dents pride and ego. I have found that failure has helped me strip away, leaving a more authentic and aligned version of who I am.
FAILURE CAN BE A HELPFUL GUIDE
Failure is an essential step on the journey to accomplish anything of meaning. In 2008, we had a sprout farm as part of The Happy Pear that grew wheatgrass and sprouts like alfalfa. At the time, there was a highly publicized E. coli outbreak linked to sprouts in Germany (which later turned out to be unfounded). As a result, our entire sprout business collapsed virtually overnight. We were devastated and unsure of what to do next.
At the time, Steve had a great sundried tomato recipe that mom used to make 10 tubs of a week that we sold in our veg shop. With the sprout business stagnant, our brother Darragh, who was running that operation, decided to try selling the pesto to local shops instead. The pesto turned out to be a lifeline and the rest, as they say, is history. This failure ultimately led to the birth of our thriving food products business, which has since sold over 15 million products. This experience taught us the invaluable lesson that failure, while painful in the moment, can sometimes be the catalyst for unexpected success and growth.
FAILURE IS ONLY FAILURE WHEN YOU STOP
Thomas Edison, on his journey to inventing the lightbulb, said: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” James Dyson’s journey to creating his iconic Dyson vacuum exemplifies the power of this perspective. Over 15 years, he created 5,127 unsuccessful prototypes, amassing a whopping £15m in personal debt before landing on the final breakthrough model. But Dyson’s willingness to learn from each “dead end”, reframing them as essential steps, ultimately paid off in 1993 when he launched the first Dyson vacuum, a huge commercial success.
This year,I reflect on our 20 year long journey of The Happy Pear and it has not been linear – While it might appear so looking back over 20 years, our perspective from the driver’s seat is that it has been a squiggly path of two steps forward and one or two steps back.
Cultivating persistence and becoming comfortable in the face of setbacks has been critical. True failure only occurs when you stop trying and cease learning from your experiences.
Reframing failure as feedback and an opportunity to grow, rather than a dead end, is a mindset that Steve and I do our very best to embody. This perspective has ensured we’ve been able to stay the course for over 20 years since starting The Happy Pear, even through the often tough and challenging times.
THE SILVER LINING OF FAILURE
There is a silver lining in Failure. However, one must be open-minded and willing to see past the initial perception of failure. Failure offers the same opportunity for metamorphosis as the transformation of a caterpillar into a butterfly which inevitably is painful. Like Dyson and Edisson, some of the greatest inventions and most successful endeavours are usually built upon the foundations of past failures. It is frequently these stumbles along the way that put pioneers on a different, yet more meaningful path than they had initially anticipated.
Let’s come back to The Happy Pear: The very impetus for our business only came after Steve and I had lost our way. We were 21 and went through a really challenging metamorphosis, a period of rediscovery that shook us to our core. We both gave up alcohol (which at the time was only for 2 weeks, a habit that has now lasted over 20 years). At the same time, we adopted a plant based diet, got interested in yoga and meditation and let go of our old identity of self proclaimed meat eating jocks and in the process, we lost what we had in common with our old friend group.
It was only on our journey to support our new lifestyle and find a new tribe that we found the inspiration and impetus to create The Happy Pear. It emerged out of necessity in a sense. We needed support to continue on our new lifestyle. It was a total identity crisis in which even our parents and community thought we had lost our way. However it became the greatest catalyst for purposeful work and fulfilment that we could have imagined.
To me, the silver lining in failure lies in its power to propel us towards our truest selves and most fulfilling ventures, if we have the courage to sit with the discomfort and face it head-on. It is a crucible from which the phoenix of our dreams can rise anew.
Let me know your thoughts on failure? It is often a tough teacher. What is your relationship with it? Apologies if this is a sensitive topic, I am sharing my experience and views on it. I would love to hear from you in the comments if you feel like sharing. Also thanks for reading this Happier Column, I greatly appreciate your support.
Thanks,
Dave
This week we speak to Nicholas Carr, an esteemed American journalist and author known for his profound insights into technology, business, and culture. Nicholas Carr’s acclaimed book, The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains, was a finalist for the 2011 Pulitzer Prize in General Nonfiction, cementing his reputation as a leading thinker on the cognitive and societal impacts of digital technology.
Throughout the episode, Nicholas shares his expert perspective on how the internet and digital technologies are reshaping our brains, behaviors, and societies. The conversation delves deep into the implications of our increasing reliance on digital media and how it affects our attention spans, memory, and overall cognitive function.
Main Topics Covered:
Nicholas Carr’s deep understanding of the intersection between technology and human cognition provides a thought-provoking discussion that challenges listeners to reflect on their own digital habits and consider the broader societal implications of our evolving relationship with technology. Tune in to this episode for an enlightening conversation that bridges the gap between technological advancements and their profound effects on our minds and lives.
Lots of love,
Dave & Steve
SPONSORS & DISCOUNT CODES:
Namawell Juicers are AMAZING! They have absolutely revolutionised the juicing game. We have an exclusive 10%
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR10
LINK: https://namawell.com/collections/juicers/products/nama-j2-cold-press-juicer?ref=thehappypear
VIVOBAREFOOT: Vivobarefoot Footwear have given our listeners an exclusive 20% discount and if you buy now you also get free access to their incredible course showcasing some of the biggest names in the health and wellness space.
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR20
LINK: https://www.vivobarefoot.com/uk/the-happy-pear
THE HAPPY PEAR RECIPE CLUB – Blending health and happiness through a range of over 500 delicious plant-based recipes.
LINK: https://eu1.hubs.ly/H06JvgK0
Sign up to our Newsletter, for updates on our latest recipes, events, and news.
LINK: https://share-eu1.hsforms.com/1hKXaawjoQOONmJe4EXkCdwf92py
Produced by Sean Cahill & Sara Fawsitt
https://embed.acast.com/6061eea8ca2fec15c01206ed/65c2cc5f73ba2f0016f45d2c
The greatest tool you have to destress is right under your nose
I was truly amazed to learn that each of us takes between 18,000 to 25,000 breaths each day—that’s a staggering number! Imagine what would happen if you could optimise these breaths to help you to feel more relaxed, at ease and in alignment with life? Well you can!!
Like you, I’ve noticed how my breathing changes with my mood. Picture a relaxing evening unwinding with a hot shower or enjoying a lazy Sunday brunch with loved ones—our breaths naturally deepen, slow down, and elongate. This shift signals that our nervous system has entered the ‘rest and restore’ mode (part of the sympathetic nervous system), where our bodies relax and rejuvenate. In contrast, when stress or anxiety hits and we feel swamped, our breathing patterns shift dramatically—it becomes quick, short, and shallow. This is a clear sign that we’ve flipped into the ‘fight or flight’ mode, fueled by adrenaline and driven by the parasympathetic nervous system, often fixating our minds on worries about the past or the future.
This intricate dance between our breathing and our emotions underscores just how powerful our breath can be. It not only keeps us alive but also plays a critical role in helping us feel more at ease, relaxed, and in tune with the present moment—essentially, it helps us to flow through life with greater happiness. Isn’t it amazing that something as simple as breathing, which we usually do without even thinking, can have such a profound impact on our well-being? 😊
HOW ARE YOU BREATHING NOW?
Let me invite you to a little experiment:, While you are reading this, slowly become aware of your breathing, and start to lengthen and deepen it with every inhale. You might have to straighten up slightly to do so. As you start to breathe more consciously, I invite you to think about the last time you felt wound up and overwhelmed —perhaps after a long tough day where nothing seemed to go your way. Chances are, your breath was shallow in that moment, short and quick mirroring your inner turmoil.
Now, imagine shifting that anxiety and tension by simply changing the way you breathe, to slow it down, to deepen your breath and signal to your body and your nervous system that all is ok, that you are safe to relax. How you and I breath is such a useful tool to have that’s always with you. It just requires your attention and conscious focus. By taking a few moments to focus on deepening your breathing, you can guide your body back into a state of calm, telling your brain that it’s time to relax.
AN EASY WAY I MAKE IT PART OF MY LIFE
When I feel overwhelmed and stressed I often end up doing 5 to10 minutes of deep breathing on a free ios app called ‘Breathing app’. I generally do this while driving on the days that I feel overwhelmed (and ironically need it most!) I rarely can justify the time thus I end up doing it in the car which seems to be the only option! I set it it to a 5:7 breathing ratio, which means that I breathe in for 5 seconds and breathe out for 7 seconds.This helps relax my nervous system and signals to my nervous system that I am safe and it’s ok to relax, I literally feel my shoulders drop and heart rate slow down and the tension that holds me loosens its grip.
This simple act of taking a few deep breaths for a few minutes whenever you need it can be a lifeline in stressful situations, helping you regain composure and approach challenging situations with a clearer mind. I invite you to give it a try next time you’re feeling overwhelmed and watch how it can transform not just your moment, but potentially your entire day.
IT SEEMS SO SIMPLE YET IS FUNDAMENTAL
To me, this simple yet profound technique of conscious breathing isn’t just about managing moments of anxiety—it’s about transforming our everyday life into a more joyful and relaxed experience. If you’re intrigued by the potential of breathwork and want to explore further, I can recommend engaging in activities like yoga, meditation, or even specialized breathwork classes. These practices integrate deep breathing as a fundamental aspect, helping you harness its benefits more fully.
Remember, the powerful tool of conscious relaxed breathing is free and available to you at any moment—whether you’re sitting in traffic, preparing for a meeting, or just winding down at the end of the day.
I craft each ‘Happier’ column with the goal of offering you practical insights and useful tips. My aim is to explore simple changes we can make in our daily lives that might just make us a bit happier. It’s easy to cruise through life on autopilot, adhering to societal norms without questioning whether they truly serve us. Yet, I believe that both you and I have untapped potential to inspire each other and create a positive ripple effect in our communities. While this might sound a bit lofty, I’m genuinely enjoying this journey and am truly grateful for your time and attention to my writing.
Thank you so much for reading, engaging with, and commenting on my work—your interaction means a lot to me. Through my weekly ‘Happier’ column, I hope to inspire you to feel a little more content and in command of your emotional health. Remember, the most potent tool you have to reduce stress is always right under your nose. Here’s to breathing easier and living a happier life! Please let me know your thoughts in the comments below. Thanks a mill. Dave.
“I think the fitness industry took a wrong turn when it adopted a top down model of fitness education. I also feel there is too much emphasis on working out alone and the collection of arbitrary data. WildStrong is the opportunity to embed movement in a community setting, with tangible benefits, creating a peer-lead, distributed model of health practice.”
In this week’s episode, we delve into the world of community-based health and fitness with guests Andrew Telfer and Gill Erskine, co-founders of WildStrong. Andrew, a public health professional with over 15 years of experience in strength and conditioning coaching, brings a wealth of knowledge about health promotion and achievable exercise for longevity. Gill, with a background in environmental politics and a passion for community building, co-founded WildStrong to create space for people to move more and get stronger, regardless of their gym-going habits. Together, they discuss the intersection of public health and local, community-based physical activity, sharing insights on building connections, fostering community engagement, and promoting holistic well-being.
Main Topics Covered:
Tune in to explore how WildStrong is revolutionising the approach to health and fitness, one community at a time, and discover practical insights for incorporating movement and strength-building into your daily life.
Lots of love,
Dave & Steve
SPONSORS & DISCOUNT CODES:
Namawell Juicers are AMAZING! They have absolutely revolutionised the juicing game. We have an exclusive 10%
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR10
LINK: https://namawell.com/collections/juicers/products/nama-j2-cold-press-juicer?ref=thehappypear
VIVOBAREFOOT: Vivobarefoot Footwear have given our listeners an exclusive 20% discount and if you buy now you also get free access to their incredible course showcasing some of the biggest names in the health and wellness space.
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR20
LINK: https://www.vivobarefoot.com/uk/the-happy-pear
THE HAPPY PEAR RECIPE CLUB – Blending health and happiness through a range of over 500 delicious plant-based recipes.
LINK: https://eu1.hubs.ly/H06JvgK0
Sign up to our Newsletter, for updates on our latest recipes, events, and news.
LINK: https://share-eu1.hsforms.com/1hKXaawjoQOONmJe4EXkCdwf92py
Produced by Sean Cahill & Sara Fawsitt
https://embed.acast.com/6061eea8ca2fec15c01206ed/65c2cc5f73ba2f0016f45d2c
As I sit in the bath, unwinding after a busy day, contemplating life, I come back to the question: is there any proof that life has to be serious? And if it doesn’t, could it be that joy, much like seriousness, is something we can cultivate as a habit?
Personally, I believe that seriousness can be a habit, a learned behaviour that we unconsciously pick up from society at large. ‘Stop laughing, stop messing – this is a serious matter!’ was a line I remember being told to me countless times growing up . Obviously being serious has its place and there are moments when it is required, however, I wonder if we have gone too far and is it time to re habituate ourselves with how to experience a little more joy on a daily basis?
I observe one of my greatest teachers daily—my 8-month-old daughter, baby Fia. Her eagerness to participate in household chores, from washing the dishes to filling the dishwasher and even mopping the floor, is a lesson in itself. For Fia, there is no distinction between work and play; every activity is approached with an open, curious attitude. Each moment is an adventure, an opportunity for exploration and joy. This seamless integration of curiosity and play into daily tasks reminds me that perhaps, the boundaries we place between ‘work’ and ‘play’ are artificial constructs rather than absolute truths.
From Human Being into Human doing?
I worry if we are becoming more machine-like in our relentless quest for efficiency? In our drive to optimise every minute of our day, I am asking myself if we are losing the essence of what it means to be human? It seems like we may be evolving from being human beings—creatures of experience and emotion—to human doings, where our worth is measured by our productivity and output. This shift seems to strip us of our humanity, reducing our lives to a checklist of tasks rather than a rich tapestry of experiences.
Why is work typically associated with toil and hardship? This view, which sees work solely as a burdensome necessity for livelihood, is ripe for reimagining. What if we could approach work with the same curiosity and joy that children like baby Fia bring to their explorations?
By shifting our perspective, work can transform from a series of mundane duties into a canvas for creativity and a source of deep satisfaction. Understanding the true worth of our tasks and seeing them as chances for personal growth and contributions to greater causes can transform work from merely a way to make ends meet into a fulfilling aspect of our lives. I know this might sound very grandiose but I believe our perspective and how we approach work can be the pivotal point.
I wrote about turning routines into rituals in one of my earlier Happier Columns, about approaching mundane everyday tasks with an attitude of presence and imbuing it with a sprinkle of sacredness can transform the experience. By shifting our mindset from just getting through each day to actively seeking out meaning and joy, we can improve both our work satisfaction and our overall well-being.
Lessons from 1000 elderly Americans
In his book 30 lessons for living gerontologist Karl Pilemer interviewed 1000 elderly Americans looking for the most important lessons they learnt from decades of life experience. Here is what they said:
Karl Pilemer’s findings lead me to a cheeky realisation: are many of us just being busy fools? Many of us hustle hard for more stuff, adopting a serious, all-go-no-stop attitude that can actually make us miss out on what’s truly valuable—like laughing with friends or lazy Sunday mornings with the kids. Maybe it is time we ease up on the gas pedal a bit, swap some of that efficiency for reflection, and sprinkle a little more fun and play into our days. After all, it seems that the best parts of life might just be the moments we aren’t working so hard to accomplish a goal.
A theme that I often journal on is, “How can I infuse today’s responsibilities and duties with more joy and ease?” This inquiry not only challenges the seriousness and heaviness commonly associated with my daily tasks but also steers me towards a more fulfilling engagement with life.
So, what do you think? Do you find yourself caught up in the hustle for more, sometimes missing the moments that truly matter? I’d love to hear if this strikes a chord with you. How do you balance the daily grind with making time for joy and play? Let’s chat about ways we can inject a bit more lightheartedness and creativity into our routines, and maybe, just maybe, let go of what might be some of that habitual seriousness. Share your thoughts in the comments below and let’s inspire each other to live a little lighter every day!
A dear friend of mine, Andrea has a knack for finding joy in the simplest moments, he always seems to have time to be present with people and is very rarely in a rush. He’s a special man. A few years ago, over a morning coffee, the sounds of our laughter and the clinking of coffee cups, he shared a concept that I adore: the ‘1 Hour Holiday.’
‘You see, Dave,’ he began in his melodious Italian accent, ‘why should we wait for a special occasion to feel free and joyful?’ His question struck a chord. Here was a man who is very skilled at the art of savouring life’s daily pleasures, no matter what the situation or weather.
When I’m on holiday, I always notice a shift in my perspective. I feel lighter, my shoulders drop and the usual daily worries are left at home. Suddenly, the small concerns that can occupy my mind seem trivial. I find myself savouring the warmth of the sun against my skin, engaging in long, unhurried conversations with locals or fellow travellers, reconnecting, remembering the joy in simply being.
Reflecting on this, it strikes me how starkly different the holiday perspective is from most of our day-to-day lives back home. My days are pretty packed – with a bustling family life having my three daughters including baby Fia, who is just 8 months old, and my responsibilities at The Happy Pear, it’s safe to say my days are full! My day to day life is led by my diary and my task list seems to grow and expand by the hour! Finding space to reflect can be a coveted commodity. Often, I feel like a piece of driftwood at sea, tossed around by the relentless waves of daily life!
Andrea’s ‘1 Hour Holiday’ concept deeply resonated with me, posing a compelling question: Why should we wait for a special occasion or a holiday to feel free and joyful? His idea is remarkably achievable and straightforward. Imagine integrating that holiday perspective – the lightness of spirit, the presence, the appreciation – into your everyday life, even if just for an hour. This hour doesn’t even need to be continuous; it can be divided into two thirty-minute segments or maybe you start with a daily 30 minute holiday.
The main point is how can we infuse our daily lives with the same attitude and spirit we embrace during holidays? Despite the undeniable increase in responsibilities, deadlines, and stress in our regular routines, opportunities still exist to infuse our days with a slice of that holiday spirit. How can we capture that sense of freedom and light-heartedness and weave it into the fabric of our everyday lives? Small acts, such as enjoying a quiet coffee, stepping outside to bask in the sunlight, or engaging more wholeheartedly in conversations without haste, can significantly help us embody that holiday spirit on a more consistent basis.
My personal ‘1 Hour Holiday’ typically unfolds between 5:30 and 7:00 AM. This early morning slot is when I’m truly a free agent, untouched by the day’s obligations. While it may be an ungodly hour for some, for me, it’s my soul time. It’s a period devoid of commitments, allowing me to indulge in activities that rejuvenate my spirit – be it running, swimming, enjoying coffee with friends, doing yoga, journaling, or even sneaking in a quick nap. Whatever I choose, this time is sacred to me, a true holiday from the daily grind. Just this morning, for instance, I started the day swimming at sunrise around 5:30 AM with Linda, Detty, Steve & Raj. This was followed by coffee and chats with Raj and Steve, and then a run with my brothers, Steve and Darragh, from 6:15 to 7:00 AM. It was sheer bliss, a slice of holiday magic in my everyday life. (You can read more about my morning routine here)
Incorporating the ‘1 Hour Holiday’ into your daily routine isn’t just a pleasant idea – it’s a transformative practice that can significantly enhance the quality of your day to day life. I challenge you to identify a time slot, even if it’s not a full hour, to dedicate solely to activities that bring you joy and relaxation, just like on a holiday. It could be early in the morning, like my sacred 5:30 to 7 AM slot, or a quiet time in the evening. The key is consistency and intentionality. Whether it’s a brisk walk, reading a book, savouring your morning coffee, a lunchtime walk or simply sitting quietly with your thoughts, make this time a non-negotiable date with yourself. Over time, you may find these moments are not just breaks in your routine, but essential components that enrich your entire day.
I deeply appreciate your engagement and comments on these ‘Happier Articles’ that I am writing. I love writing them and I cherish your insights, feedback and comments. If you’ve enjoyed this concept of the ‘1 Hour Holiday’, consider reading some of the other 8 Happier articles I’ve written.
Together, let’s continue to discover and implement small, practical ways to bring more joy and presence into our daily lives. What does your ‘1 Hour Holiday’ look like? Share your thoughts in the comments below and let’s inspire each other to live more fully, every single day.
Did you know that blood flow can impact pleasure? Poor blood flow can have widespread effects throughout the body, causing digestive issues, poor brain, kidney, heart and skin health, and even affect our sex lives, leading to issues like erectile dysfunction, menstrual irregularities and can affect sensitivity and lubrication. Here we make a beautiful juice to help dilate blood vessels and improve blood flow. We are using our fabulous Nama upright masticating juicer that has a hand free hopper, we have partnered with then as they are so good and you can get a 10% discount with the code: HAPPYPEAR10 AND learn more here
Join us as we welcome Dr. Michaeleen Doucleff, an esteemed journalist, and bestselling author renowned for her captivating exploration of parenting practices across cultures.
Dr. Doucleff, author of the New York Times bestseller “Hunt, Gather, Parent,” brings a wealth of expertise to our discussion. With a doctorate in chemistry from the University of Berkeley, California, a master’s degree in viticulture and enology from the University of California, Davis, and a bachelor’s degree in biology from Caltech, her interdisciplinary background informs her unique perspective on parenting. Doucleff has reported for NPR’s global health desk for nearly 14 years, and in 2015, she was part of the team that earned a George Foster Peabody award for its coverage of the Ebola outbreak in West Africa.
Main Topics Covered:
In this enlightening episode, Dr. Doucleff shares profound insights from her latest book, “Hunt, Gather, Parent,” offering transformative wisdom on raising resilient, independent, and empathetic children. Discover the gentle discipline methods of the Inuit community, the Maasai tribe’s approach to nurturing self-reliance, and how embracing traditional wisdom can revolutionise modern parenting. Tune in to unlock invaluable lessons that transcend borders and cultures, empowering parents to foster thriving relationships with their children.
Lots of love,
Dave & Steve
SPONSORS & DISCOUNT CODES:
Namawell Juicers are AMAZING! They have absolutely revolutionised the juicing game. We have an exclusive 10%
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR10
LINK: https://namawell.com/collections/juicers/products/nama-j2-cold-press-juicer?ref=thehappypear
VIVOBAREFOOT: Vivobarefoot Footwear have given our listeners an exclusive 20% discount and if you buy now you also get free access to their incredible course showcasing some of the biggest names in the health and wellness space.
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR20
LINK: https://www.vivobarefoot.com/uk/the-happy-pear
THE HAPPY PEAR RECIPE CLUB – Blending health and happiness through a range of over 500 delicious plant-based recipes.
LINK: https://eu1.hubs.ly/H06JvgK0
Sign up to our Newsletter, for updates on our latest recipes, events, and news.
LINK: https://share-eu1.hsforms.com/1hKXaawjoQOONmJe4EXkCdwf92py
Produced by Sean Cahill & Sara Fawsitt
https://embed.acast.com/6061eea8ca2fec15c01206ed/65c2cc5f73ba2f0016f45d2c
I’ve always been an optimist, seeing the glass as half full—yet, it’s taken me years to understand that sometimes, what fills the glass isn’t as important as appreciating that there’s something in it at all.
Please don’t be mistaken to believe that I am telling you to dream less or have small, limited visions for your life. I very much have dreams and visions myself. However, managing your expectations is a powerful strategy for feeling happier by ‘getting the goal posts to stop moving’. In a world where we are constantly told that you can have it all, learning when enough is enough is one of the greatest gifts you can have. Socrates, the classical Greek philosopher, said “Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty.” This quote captures the idea that true wealth comes from being content with what one has, rather than constantly seeking more, which can lead to a sense of lack or poverty regardless of one’s material possessions.
Think about the friends and family in your life who’ve said things like, “I’ll be happy when I get that new car,” or “Everything will be perfect once we buy our first house.” You’ve probably seen their excitement as they reached those milestones. Yet, it seems like as soon as they achieve these goals they set their sights on something bigger or better — a larger house, a more luxurious car. It’s a cycle that might be all too common, where today’s dream quickly becomes tomorrow’s starting point for the next big chase. Isn’t it interesting how our expectations and markers for happiness tend to shift just as we reach them?
For example, I cherish the period between Christmas Day and New Year’s Day—a time that feels like an endless succession of Sundays. In the past, I used to dedicate this time to reflect and craft extensive lists of goals for every aspect of my life for the year ahead. I was a committed over achiever!! Looking back, the mere thought of that exhaustive process overwhelms me! Over the last five years, I’ve consciously simplified my approach. Now, my goals are much simpler: to slow down, to be kinder, and to become more self-aware. These goals may not fit the conventional SMART criteria (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time bound), being more nebulous in nature, but they serve as accessible guiding principles that are firmly within my control, independent of external expectations.
I’ve found that keeping expectations simpler, or even a bit on the low side, can actually make you happier. It might sound odd, especially in a culture that’s all about “you can achieve anything if you work hard enough,” but sometimes, simplicity and contentment bring the most joy.
I find that the real challenge in today’s culture, which promises that you can have it all—from perfect bodies and millionaire status to ideal relationships and a life as a digital nomad basking in the sun half the year—is keeping the goalposts from constantly moving. This relentless shifting of goals can lead to perpetual dissatisfaction, as we chase an ever-evolving standard of success that seems always just out of reach.
Comedian Bill Hicks once joked, “The greatest drugs are heroin and a monthly salary,” highlighting how people’s spending habits often increase in correlation as they earn more. This pattern, known as lifestyle inflation, means that even with higher salaries, we might not feel richer because we’re always upgrading our spending and lifestyles to reflect our salary. This cycle can prevent us from feeling financially secure or truly satisfied, despite higher earnings.
This links to the idea that lowering your expectations can lead to greater happiness. Just like controlled spending can make you financially happier, keeping your life goals realistic can prevent the constant dissatisfaction of always wanting more. I strive to appreciate what I have instead of always seeking more as I believe it is an easier road to contentment. This applies not just to money, but also to personal goals and lifestyle choices. However I am aware that I struggle with moving goal posts too.
I’ve definitely been a victim of unrealistic expectations myself, only to face the ensuing disappointment. In school I would set very high expectations for exams and was more often than not disappointed by my grades particularly in reference to my twin brother Steve’s who were usually higher!!
Over 275 years ago, Montesquieu, a French Philosopher, noted that seeking happiness would be simple if we only desired to be happy ourselves. However, our challenge arises because we strive to be happier than those around us, and we often believe others are happier than they truly are.
Everything is relative. Professional tennis player Naomi Osaka said that winning a tournament didn’t make her feel good. “I feel more relieved than anything else,” she stated. The journey felt more fulfilling than reaching my goal, she added. The pressure and expectation it seems took some of the joy out of actually reaching her goal.
I wrote about the importance of embracing your inner child a few weeks ago, highlighting how children are naturally adept at living in the moment with minimal expectations. They find immense joy in simple pleasures and play, effortlessly embodying a mindset many adults strive to regain. This perspective ties into the larger theme of managing expectations. As adults, we often let fancy goals for what we think we need overshadow our appreciation for what we actually have.
The 1950s in the USA are often remembered as a time of great prosperity. However, by almost every standard of living metric, Americans were less well-off then than they are today. The average household income, adjusted for inflation, was around $29,000, compared to $72,000 today. Additionally, the average home size was one-third smaller and typically housed more people.
Despite this, the era had a much narrower wealth gap. Rich and middle-class families often owned similar types of cars, wore the same kinds of shoes, and both saw camping holidays as socially acceptable. Hand-me-down clothes were commonly worn without stigma. This resulted in less comparison among individuals, as most people enjoyed a similar standard of living and salary differences were less pronounced.
I feel like today, our expectations are heavily shaped by the marketing strategies of large corporations and a consumer-centric culture. The advent of social media and the internet might have intensified our tendency to compare our lives to often unrealistic standards set by others. This shift could have fundamentally altered our perception of success and significantly impacted our overall sense of contentment.
I invite you to reflect on where you were 10 years ago compared to where you are now. It’s likely that you’ve made significant progress, even if it doesn’t always feel that way, especially when you find yourself comparing yourself to those you admire or aspire to be. Looking back at my own dreams from a decade ago, I realise that I am, more or less, living many of those dreams today. For example, I remember visiting a organic food supplier of ours in Holland 10 years ago, outside their massive facility was a space for the two owners cars which were electric and charging. I was very impressed. Roll on 10 years later, Steve and my cars are both electric (Toyota Bz4) and are plugged in most days outside our large food production facility. However, I must admit that I haven’t always taken the time to fully appreciate and savour this reality.
To manage my own expectation and goals, I find it is crucial to occasionally pause and truly recognise how far I have come. And I invite you also to consider setting aside some quiet time to reflect on the dreams and goals you had 10 years ago and how they align with your life today. Celebrate the milestones you’ve achieved. This isn’t just about patting yourself on the back; it’s an essential practice in grounding your expectations. Recognising your progress helps give perspective on your current life and future aspirations, allowing you to more fully enjoy the present instead of always chasing the next big thing.
In wrapping up, managing expectations is not about limiting our dreams or settling for less, but rather fostering a mindset that appreciates contentment and the simplicity of life. This approach frees us from the relentless pursuit of more, allowing us to enjoy what we already have. Picture the serenity that comes not just from achieving but from being truly satisfied with the present moment.
I invite you to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. How do you balance your ambitions with the pursuit of contentment? What practical steps do you take to appreciate your achievements without constantly seeking more? Let’s exchange ideas and learn from each other how to cultivate a life that celebrates both growth and satisfaction. Your insights can inspire and guide us all in redefining success to focus more on personal well-being and less on perpetual striving.
This juice is absolutely packed with nutrients, and contains foraged weeds that are free and likely growing right on your doorstep and are packed with all kinds of nutrients and minerals. Nettles are nature’s little gems, packed with more iron than your average spinach and boasting some serious detoxifying power. Dandelion leaves are rich in vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants, and can help support digestion, liver health, and radiant skin. Cleaver, also known as stickyback weed or goosegrass, is packed with nutrients and detoxifying properties, helps support skin health, aids digestion, and promotes overall well-being. We came up with this recipe with our friends from Namawell juice company who make amazing juicers, that we love – learn more about them here and use the code: HAPPYPEAR10 for 10% off
Join us this week for an insightful conversation on plant-based parenting with guests Alexandra Caspero and Whitney English of Plant-Based Juniors. As Registered Dietitians, mothers, and founders of Plant-Based Juniors, Alex and Whitney bring a wealth of expertise to the table, offering evidence-based guidance on raising healthy, conscious kids.
Alexandra Caspero and Whitney English are Registered Dietitians, mothers, and founders of Plant-Based Juniors, a go-to resource for evidence-based guidance on raising healthy, conscious kids. They are the authors of The Plant-Based Baby and Toddler, the Predominantly Plant-Based Pregnancy Guide, First Bites, and more. Along with Dr. Reshma Shah, they founded the Learning Center to offer professional paediatric nutrition courses, and fun, interactive courses for parents and caregivers.
Main topics covered:
Tune in to discover how you can nourish your family with delicious, plant-based meals and foster a lifelong love of wholesome eating in your children. Whether you’re a seasoned pro or just starting out on your plant-based parenting journey, this episode is sure to leave you feeling inspired and empowered to create nourishing, plant-powered meals for your family.
Lots of love,
Dave & Steve
SPONSORS & DISCOUNT CODES:
Namawell Juicers are AMAZING! They have absolutely revolutionised the juicing game. We have an exclusive 10%
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR10
LINK: https://namawell.com/collections/juicers/products/nama-j2-cold-press-juicer?ref=thehappypear
VIVOBAREFOOT: Vivobarefoot Footwear have given our listeners an exclusive 25% discount and if you buy now you also get free access to their incredible course showcasing some of the biggest names in the health and wellness space.
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR25
LINK: https://www.vivobarefoot.com/uk/the-happy-pear
THE HAPPY PEAR RECIPE CLUB – Blending health and happiness through a range of over 500 delicious plant-based recipes.
LINK: https://eu1.hubs.ly/H06JvgK0
Sign up to our Newsletter, for updates on our latest recipes, events, and news.
LINK: https://share-eu1.hsforms.com/1hKXaawjoQOONmJe4EXkCdwf92py
Produced by Sean Cahill & Sara Fawsitt
https://embed.acast.com/6061eea8ca2fec15c01206ed/65c2cc5f73ba2f0016f45d2c
As I sit here, eating my porridge after a busy morning of school runs, lunch boxes, breakfasts, sea swims and the usual hustle and bustle of a morning. I reflect on where I get my self worth from? Is it intrinsic like my baby daughter Fia or is my self worth more attached to my social standing and my achievements? I think it is likely more externally derived than I would like.
In a world that constantly pushes us toward the next big achievement, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that our value is tied to our productivity or success. But what happens when we shift our focus inward and start valuing ourselves for just ‘being’? I find that this shift isn’t just liberating; it’s a fundamental reconnection with the essence of who we truly are.
Last week, we explored the idea of ‘feeling enough’ and how our sense of self-worth often gets tangled with external achievements and comparisons. In this week’s Happier Column, I want to explore practical steps to cultivate this deeper acceptance and learn to live a life defined not by what we do, but by who we are at our core.
I want to share with you some practices that I do to help nurture my sense of self-worth. Pick and choose the ones that resonate with you, there is no one size fits all approach. I’ve found that cultivating a strong sense of intrinsic worth is an active, ongoing process. It’s about making small, intentional choices each day that reinforce the belief that you are enough just as you are.
How can we cultivate more intrinsic self worth?
For me, the process always begins with awareness, being mindful of when I make automatic habitual decisions from a place of fear or insecurity, when I am ‘holding on too tight to life’ and don’t embody that deeper sense of trust. A few of these are actual practices and others are more mindsets and nebulous that help me feel enough:
It all starts with kindness. You are worthy. You exist for so many reasons and your life is not defined by your external achievements. I am reiterating this to myself as much as to you! Proactively cultivating a more loving relationship with yourself is at the core of it all. Life has its light and dark, each of us has a shadow side. I find the more I can make peace and accept my shadow side the more whole I feel. Kindness can serve as fundamental to every other practice, and can be as big or as small as you like it to be. For example, I am cultivating a mindset of kindness even if I fail to get half of what I plan to in a day.
Personally, I am a super big fan of journaling! A blank page always accepts my worries and problems without judgement! I do two types of journaling, the first one is a so-called ‘brain dump’ style of journaling, which is basically just emptying all your thoughts on the page with no intention other than to express it. It can be very cathartic.
The second one is a more intentional form of journaling, where you have certain questions/prompts that focus your journaling. In terms of self worth here are some journaling prompts I frequently use:
This is a daily practice! It takes intentionality and awareness to focus on what you have rather than what you don’t have. Humans innately have a ‘negativity bias’, which has helped us survive, it is evolutionarily essential, however thinking negatively does not help us to feel happier. This is why it takes practice to really focus on how abundant your life is.
Everything is relative – to someone in prison your freedom is invaluable, to someone who cannot move, being able to move is the greatest gift of all, to those without food, any food is such a blessing.
I very much practice being grateful on a daily basis. Before dinner every evening, my wife and I have got in the habit of taking a few moments to say thanks for the meal we are about to eat and to think of all the millions of things that had to come into place for this meal to be in front of us, it is simple yet very worthwhile.
Let me share a quick example: Children are generally the personification of free and self loving, their expectations of themselves are also low, as their main goal is to play and be around their friends and parents.
Observing my own expectations, I find that hoping and dreaming for wonderful things but lowering my expectations very much leads to a happier me! If you lower your expectations you are less likely to be disappointed. Lowering your expectations helps you to focus on what you have and to be grateful for it.
I wrote about this in my first Happier column. Like me, you likely have lots of mundane routines in your life that you can’t avoid, doing the dishes, cooking dinner, cleaning. I do my best to lean into these infusing them with a little more ritual, a sprinkle of ceremony that reminds me to be ‘here & now’ with the task at hand! This might just be as simple as taking my time and doing my best to find joy in the task at hand!
For those curious to dig deeper, read more in Happier Column 3
In each of us lives an ‘inner child’ with dreams and hopes and a ferocious appetite to play, imagine and create! Adults are grown up children, how can you reconnect to this part of yourself? What activities feed this part of who you are?
For me, running, yoga, swimming in the sea, writing, being in nature and spending time with my kids help me connect with my inner child. Its the activities that help you to feel free when you get lost in the moment and there is no future purpose other than the momentary joy!
Read more in my previous Happier Column here
We all have an inner critic. Yours likely has different ‘tracks’ that it plays on repeat to mine. Becoming aware of your inner critic and actively challenging it is key to taking power from it. When you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk, I encourage you to counter it with affirmations of your intrinsic worth.
For example, replace thoughts like “I am a failure because x” with “I am valuable just as I am and always have been and always will be”
Ultimately, the more we can spend time in the “here and now” the more likely do we feel whole and enough. Thoughts of the past might be stressful and thoughts of the future could be anxiety ridden. I find the best gateways for me are using my 5 senses that bring me back into my body. Another reason why cold sea swimming is so effective for me!
A mantra I have been repeating in my own head this year is: “Focus on the process not the result”.
The more I can get lost in the process and not focus on the result, the more likely the result will be better! I know this might sound very basic to most of you, but in a multisensorial external world it is also so easy to be drawn toward external goals to fulfill our internal insecurities. However, the more we can focus on this step, the more likely we are to reach the destination we desire.
Any relationship that you have that accepts you for exactly who you are affirms that you are enough. In our digital age, real world in person relationships really stack up in terms of their benefits on every aspect of our wellbeing. I meet Steve and Raj most mornings and we go for a sunrise swim. I run with my brothers and friends a couple of times a week at 6am and these are like therapy sessions. We chat and share our problems and always feel lighter at the end!
To summarise these 10 tools, I find that an intrinsic sense of self worth is one of life’s real treasures, often more so than many of the coveted social accolades many of us strive for.
As we wrap up this week’s column, I encourage you to reflect on your own journey. What daily rituals could you turn into mindful practices? How can journaling or gratitude reshape your day? Remember, the goal is not to seek perfection but to foster an environment where you can celebrate being authentically you.
I’d love to hear from you about your experiences and insights. What practices have you found effective in nurturing your sense of self-worth? Are there challenges you’ve faced in this journey that you’d like to share? Your stories and questions not only enrich our community but also deepen our collective understanding of what it means to truly feel ‘enough.’
Please feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments below, or reach out via email or social media. Let’s continue this important conversation and support each other in our quests to live more fulfilled and self-accepting lives. Remember, each step you take in embracing yourself enriches not only your own life but also the lives of those around you. Let’s keep learning and growing together, celebrating each moment of our journey towards a deeper self-acceptance.
This delicious tasting Raspberry, Pink Grapefruit & Apple drink is not only packed with 100% of 7 daily B vitamins and you can enjoy it knowing that there is no added sugar and nothing artificial within. What makes it more unique is that these beauties are sweetened with natural compounds from stevia leaves rather than the more common sucralose.
Irish Spring Water, Apple Juice from Concentrate (12%), Raspberry Juice from Concentrate (4%), Stabiliser (Gum Arabic), Natural Flavouring – Steviol Glycosides, Acid (Malic Acid), Natural Raspberry Flavouring, Fruit and Vegetable Concentrates (Sweet Potato, Apple, Radish, Cherry), White Tea Extract, Natural Pink Grapefruit Flavouring, Natural Apple Flavouring, Antioxidant (Ascorbic Acid), Niacin, Pantothenic Acid, Vitamin B6, Vitamin B1 (Thiamin), Folic Acid, Biotin, Vitamin B12.
There are no allergens associated with this product
Typical | per 100ml |
---|---|
Energy | 41kJ |
10kcal | |
Fat | 0g |
of which: Saturates | 0g |
Carbohydrates | 1.9g |
of which: Sugars | 1.4g |
Fibre | 0g |
Protein | 0g |
Salt | 0g |
Vitamin B6 | 0.28mg |
Vitamin B12 | 0.5μg |
Folic Acid | 40μg |
Niacin | 3.2mg |
This fab tasting Blood Orange, Mandarin and Ginger drink is not only packed with 100% of 7 daily B vitamins and you can enjoy it knowing that there is no added sugar and nothing artificial within. What makes it more unique is that these beauties are sweetened with natural compounds from stevia leaves rather than the more common sucralose.
Irish Spring Water, Orange Juice from Concentrate (20%), Mandarin Juice from Concentrate (11%), Ginger Juice (2%), Natural Blood Orange Flavouring, Natural Flavouring – Steviol Glycosides, Vitamin C, Acid (Malic Acid), Stabiliser (Gum Arabic), Colour (Carotenes), Natural Ginger Flavouring, Natural Mandarin Flavouring, Niacin, Pantothenic Acid, Vitamin B6, Vitamin B1 (Thiamin), Folic Acid, Biotin, Vitamin B12, Zinc.
There are no allergens associated with this product
Typical | per 100ml |
---|---|
Energy | 67kJ |
16kcal | |
Fat | 0g |
of which: Saturates | 0g |
Carbohydrates | 3.5g |
of which: Sugars | 2.5g |
Fibre | 0g |
Protein | 0g |
Salt | 0g |
Vitamin C | 16mg |
Vitamin B6 | 0.28mg |
Vitamin B12 | 0.5μg |
Folic Acid | 40μg |
Niacin | 3.2mg |
Zinc | 2mg |
This genuinely delicious tasting Apple, Elderflower and Lime drink is not only packed with 100% of 7 daily B vitamins and you can enjoy it knowing that there is no added sugar and nothing artificial within. What makes it more unique is that these beauties are sweetened with natural compounds from stevia leaves rather than the more common sucralose.
Irish Spring Water, Apple Juice From Concentrate (31%), Stabiliser (Gum Arabic), Acid (Malic Acid), Natural Flavouring, Steviol Glycosides, Natural Apple Flavouring, Maté Tea Extract, Antioxidant (Ascorbic Acid), Natural Lime Flavouring, Natural Elderflower Flavouring, Niacin, Pantothenic Acid, Vitamin B12, Vitamin B6, Vitamin B1 (Thiamin), Folic Acid, Biotin, Colours (Carotenes, Copper Chlorophyllin)
There are no allergens associated with this product
Typical | per 100ml |
---|---|
Energy | 65kJ |
15kcal | |
Fat | 0g |
of which: Saturates | 0g |
Carbohydrates | 3.4g |
of which: Sugars | 3.1g |
Fibre | 0g |
Protein | 0g |
Salt | 0g |
Vitamin B6 | 0.28mg |
Vitamin B12 | 0.0.5μg |
Folic Acid | 40μg |
Niacin | 3.2mg |
This fella’s a super tasty and convenient snack that will help power up your mid-morning or mid afternoon in not only a yummy but healthy way. We love snacking on them straight after exercise or bringing them on hikes. It’s size makes it super handy for bringing in your bag, lunchbox or even coffee cup holder in the car.
Hummus (60%) [Cooked Chickpeas (29%)(Chickpeas, Water), Rapeseed Oil, Tahini (8.8%) (Sesame Seeds), Water, Lemon Juice Concentrate, Garlic (0.7%), Sea Salt, Cumin, Cayenne],
Wholegrain Oat Crackers (40%) [Gluten Free Wholegrain Oats (34%), Sustainable Palm Fruit Oil, Maize Starch, Raising Agent (Ammonium Bicarbonate), Sea Salt, Brown Rice Syrup]
For allergens, see highlighted ingredients.
May also contain traces of Nuts and Milk.
Typical | per 100g |
---|---|
Energy | 1577kJ |
379kcal | |
Fat | 24g |
of which: Saturates | 4.5g |
Carbohydrates | 29g |
of which: Sugars | 2.3g |
Fibre | 6.2g |
Protein | 8.6g |
Salt | 1g |
This fella’s a super tasty and convenient snack that will help power up your mid-morning or mid afternoon in not only a yummy but healthy way. We love snacking on them straight after exercise or bringing them on hikes. It’s size makes it super handy for bringing in your bag, lunchbox or even coffee cup holder in the car.
Hummus (60%) [Cooked Chickpeas (29%)(Chickpeas, Water), Rapeseed Oil, Tahini (8.8%) (Sesame Seeds), Water, Lemon Juice Concentrate, Garlic (0.7%), Sea Salt, Cumin, Cayenne],
Wholegrain Oat Crackers (40%) [Gluten Free Wholegrain Oats (34%), Sustainable Palm Fruit Oil, Maize Starch, Raising Agent (Ammonium Bicarbonate), Sea Salt, Brown Rice Syrup]
For allergens, see highlighted ingredients.
May also contain traces of Nuts and Milk.
Typical | per 100g |
---|---|
Energy | 1615kJ |
388kcal | |
Fat | 25g |
of which: Saturates | 4.5g |
Carbohydrates | 30g |
of which: Sugars | 1g |
Fibre | 4.7g |
Protein | 8.4g |
Salt | 1.3g |
As I watch Fia, my 7-month-old daughter, contentedly exploring a simple wooden toy in the soft glow of the morning sun that filters through her nursery window, a thought dawns on me. She exists in a state of pure contentment, feeling ‘enough’ without any effort. This makes me question: at what point do we adults lose that sense of intrinsic value and start believing we must achieve something to be ‘enough’? And what does enough mean – to you, to me and to the world?
These reflections about ‘feeling enough’ have been niggling me for weeks, probing at the notion of ‘feeling enough.’ Am I trying to prove my worthiness in order to feel enough? Is this what is driving me? Is it a deep-rooted insecurity, a need to prove I’m worthy of love? Perhaps it’s tied to my own personal experience, especially the unique dynamic of competing for my mother’s attention as an identical twin.
In this weeks Happier Column, I want to invite you on an inner journey with me, together exploring
Unpacking our drive for worthiness
The notion of ‘enough’ is something that often seems just out of reach, a destination we arrive at only after ticking off a list of achievements. We often see worthiness as an award for success, thinking, ‘Once I’m successful, then I’ll be enough.’ Despite an inner awareness that our worth isn’t dependent on external achievements, we’re still driven by something. Why do we fall victim to the notion that we must accomplish certain goals, whether it’s a fit body, a certain income, or luxury possessions?
Rationally I know that feeling ‘enough’ isn’t about ticking off boxes on a checklist of societal expectations. I know it has much more to do with my internal world and so much less about the external. Yet here I am, a 44 year old man, reflecting on this ever-present conflict inside me.
Being enough is not something we earn, it is something we are.
How do we seed the idea into society that being enough is not something we earn but something we are? How do you and I embody this and start to live more from this point of view? In my experience, adult life seems to be fueled by striving to feel enough via achievements and accolades. I reflect upon getting older, my hair greying and getting thinner, my skin getting more lines and I have threads of worry about the effects this will have, will I be enough as these continue?
In some moments, I also have doubts about my work and generating financial stability for my family, and the list goes on.. I don’t think I am alone in this? I believe these types of insecurities are not unique to me; they are likely just part of the shared human experience. I think this realisation brings an awareness that we all have to deal with not feeling good enough at times, and overcoming this feeling likely starts with remembering that you are enough – just the way you are. A feeling that is not dependent on what you do or how you look, it is fundamentally a part of who you are.
Comparison, the thief of joy
Sometimes I think it might have been simpler to feel ‘enough’ a century ago, before the internet and the age of social media, where success wasn’t gauged by Instagram likes or TikTok views. While comparison isn’t new to human culture, social media amplifies it immensely. It’s all too easy to compare our inner world to someone else’s curated external world, leading to envy and eroding our sense of self-worth.
Speaking from experience, as part of The Happy Pear’s significant online presence, I’ve felt both the perks and pressures of social visibility, which often go unnoticed by others.
A few years back, I decided to take control of my relationship with social media. Instead of mindless scrolling and battling feelings of inadequacy, I now approach social platforms with intention. I don’t scroll on my phone, I post when I need to. When I choose to engage, I do so from my laptop, which I find much less enticing than my phone. This small change has made a big difference in preserving my sense of ‘enoughness.’
Reprogramming our worth to make it more intrinsic
I’m convinced that to shift our sense of worth from external accolades to our inner qualities, we need to embrace mindfulness. Being present helps me discern whether my decisions stem from fear or confidence. It’s about pausing to question, “Is this choice driven by fear, or is it rooted in self-trust and trust in life?” I’ve frequently caught myself in the ‘busy fool’ cycle, tirelessly toiling in the name of efficiency, only to later realise I was focused on the wrong tasks!
As kids, we naturally felt secure and didn’t worry about our worth, just like baby Fia. But as we grow up, we start to think our value comes from what we do, what we have, and what others think of us. To find that deep, unshakable sense of self-worth again, I believe that we need to learn to trust life’s flow and have faith in ourselves, just like when we were young and the world seemed so much simpler.
In life, learning to trust and have faith can make all the difference. I’ve found that the more I try to control everything around me, the more stressed I become. Real worth and happiness come from feeling content on the inside, no matter what’s happening outside. It’s a personal journey that starts with letting go. When I trust that things will work out and have faith in my own ability to handle whatever comes my way, I feel a sense of inner peace. Last week, while preparing to photograph a new book, I faced an overwhelming array of dishes that needed to be cooked for the shoot. On Monday morning, I felt swamped, my mind echoing doubts that it was impossible to finish in time. However, I soon made a conscious decision to accept the situation. I surrendered to the moment, focusing on cooking one dish at a time and not surprisingly, we managed to get through it all!
To me, this isn’t about giving up; it’s about accepting that I am enough as I am, and that’s where my true strength lies.
Reflecting on our intrinsic worth is a journey we all share, and I’ve opened up about mine in hopes of sparking a wider dialogue. Now, it’s your turn to add to this collective exploration. In the comments, I’d love to hear your thoughts and stories. How do you resist the pull of external validation to find contentment within? What daily practices keep you grounded in the belief that you are already enough? Your contributions are not just welcome—they’re essential. Let’s start a conversation that reminds us all of the beauty and strength that come from simply being ourselves. Share your voice, your insights, and let’s navigate this path together.
Next week’s column will be about self worth and the practices that I do to cultivate this. Have a lovely week 🙂